Legal Question in Family Law in New York

Re: maternal grandparents vs paternal grandparents

I assume you're referring to a circumstance where you die before your children become adults, leaving them without father and mother.

Your parents would have Standing to Petition for custody of your children, in the event of your death. But, They are not assured of winning custody. Your husband's parents have equivalent Standing and a betther chance. Especially given the circumstances you describe and if you formally appoint your InLaws, Guardians of your children's person and property.

You can also make it much more difficult and unattractive, for your family to win or fight for custody, although they may be given visitation, if:

the children are old enough to indicate their preferences; you provide sufficient info & documentation explaining why you believe your inlaws should be the "custodial" surrogate parents of your children, in their "Best Interests;" You appoint your inlaws, Executor, Adminitrator, of your estate; You appoint your inlaws Guardians and Trustees of your children's person and property, under the Will, and in a separate Guardianship document duly executed; You make certain that any life insurance money or assets, remains with the insurance company, on account until the childlren come of a certain age; and You specifically, disinherit your family, under your Will.

Keep in mind that children cannot be "ordered" to love, care for or allow your parents into their lives, in any meaningful way, if they don't see or feel the logic of it, in the first instance; and you prepare them to evaluate themselves in relation to the world, in particular ways, whether you are here or not.

Good luck,

Phroska L. McAlister,Esq