Legal Question in Family Law in New York
Can one parent fire a nanny she's jealous of?
My sister and her husband are recently separated. She moved out but visits when she wants. They have 4 young children who love their nanny more than their mother because the nanny spends more time and attention with them.
My sister (the mother) never wanted children and holds it against her husband that she did. She has been diagnosed multiple times with borderline personality disorder which is demonstrated by extreme concern for her own emotional happiness without thought for others. She moved out and fired the nanny because she wanted to force her husband to miss work and have to take care of the children. My sister has repeatedly insulted and verbally attacked the nanny to compensate for her jealousy.
The husband is more concerned with getting help for his wife than protecting himself. She on the other hand is draining their joint bank account rapidly with self-indulgent spending including a planned Italian vacation. She knows that he will always put the children first so she can leave and he will be forced to miss work.
She just put a craigslist ad out for a new nanny (the regular one has a strong attachment to the children so my sister is jealous of their affection for her.). She put her husband's phone as the contact number on the ad and he has had to spend the day home from work fielding hundreds of calls from nannies while caring for the 4 children.
I need legal advice for him.
What can he do to retain the original nanny and remove the mother's right to fire her? I'm thinking along the lines of: unfit mother, welfare of the children (abandonment by mother of children, removing their beloved nanny, forcing a total stranger into the household)
Please help! I'm trying to help my brother-in-law before he loses his job due to unexplained absences and help the children in a situation with an unstable mother.
2 Answers from Attorneys
He would have to go to Family Court and apply for custody. As the custodial parent, he would be primarily responsible for the care and well being of the children. Now, custody is shared between the father and mother - although it seems that the mother is making all the decisions.
If your sister is truly out of touch, this will not be easy since your sister will place her own well-being ahead of the children.
Mike.
I agree with the above, but would also like to add that your brother-in-law really needs to wake up, start worrying about himself (and not his wife), and take back some control over his family. And why is he allowing her to drain their bank account? The way he allowing her to use him as a doormat makes it sound like he may need some mental help.
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