Legal Question in Family Law in New York
Potential father's obligations/rights
We have a major crisis happening in our family. Just a quick background on our family, my husband and I were married in 1992 and had a son. We were then divorced in 1994. We were reunited in 1997 and were remarried. This year we had a second son. Everything was going along well, until last week. A woman who my husband had a three month relationship with during our divorce, e-mailed him and then called him. She told him that six years ago she had his child. She never contacted him or told him about this until now, six years later. Neither of us had any clue that this would be sprung upon us at this point. Of course we are unable to verify her story without a paternity test. As of now, the woman states she wants nothing from my husband but to clear her guilty mind. The child does not have his last name and he is not named on the birth cretificate. We feel that since the woman has waited so long to give us any knowledge of this situation, we want nothing to do with either of them, basically it is her doing and her problem. We need some advice. We do not want to be involved at this point, so long after the fact because our lives are established. Any advice?
5 Answers from Attorneys
Re: Potential father's obligations/rights
Your husband should avoid any communication with the woman, in the most diplomatic way possible. Nothing good can arise out of contact with her. There is nothing else to do until such time as she commences legal action. If she files a petition or persists in communicating with your husband, he should contact a lawyer immediately. Feel free to call me at 212-367-9167 for a free consultation.
Re: Potential father's obligations/rights
I can not tell from your question whether you live in New York or in Maryland, or which state might have jurisdiction in any child spport action. Since I practice in Maryland I will answer based on Maryland law. The situation sounds pretty strange, since I do not understand how informing your huaband about a child born so long ago will "clear her guilty mind." If that is truly all she wanted, I would ignore the information. I suspect, however, that she will soon file for child support. If she does, your husband can deny paternity and the court can order a blood test, which will be charged to your husband only if it shows that he is the father. In that event, he will almost certainly be ordered to pay child support, which will be based on the combined incomes of the child's parents and on the percentage of that combined income which is his. For purposes of calculating child support his income will be reduced by an amount which the court finds is needed for the support of your two children. He cannot be ordered to pay retroactive child support for any time up to the date on which she files a claim for support. If it is his child, and he has to pay support, he does not have to meet the child and make the child a part of his and your lives unless he wants to.
Re: Potential father's obligations/rights
A proper answer to your question depends upon whether or not you are in New York or Maryland. I disagree with the concept that no communications should be had with the mother of this child. Rather, a sympathetic approach leading up to her signing an agreement to waive child support would be in order (or, if she is married, perhaps adoption by her husband). I would not request DNA testing unless she commenced a court proceeding requesting support. In New York, a mother can waive child support although that waiver will not hold up if she is on welfare. You should consult with someone to discuss the sympathetic approach and follow-up.
Re: Potential father's obligations/rights
Seems like you got our attention. I concur in part with both NY attorneys and with neither of the Maryland attorneys as to your situation. The matter in dispute is whether a paternity relationship exists. You should contact an attorney, contact me at (410) 799-9002.
Re: Potential father's obligations/rights
I concur in the advice given you by Louis Venezia, Esq. However, there are additional nuances which are best discussed in person.
If you wish to schedule a confidential consultation, please give me a call.
I practice in NYC and Long Island. For more information, please visit my web site.
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