Legal Question in Family Law in New York
the rights of the child in divorce
I went through a divorce about 5 years ago. I have two daughters and have joint custody with my ex. They spend two nights of the week with me and two with their father and then we alternate weekends. The situation in his house, more so in the last 6 months, has become very stressful for my daughters. They are 13 and 17yrs old. They would like to spend the week with me and alternate going to their Dad for weekends. I believe it's in their best interests to be with me. How do I go about changing the custody agreement and how much say do they have at this age?
2 Answers from Attorneys
Re: the rights of the child in divorce
The Courts generally give more weight to the opinions of older children, over 14 or so, if the children seem credible. However, the Courts also have a very strong mandate to maintain the relationship between the children and BOTH parents--as well as a tendency to maintain the status quo. Moreover, because the Courts often see teenagers who want a change of custody for reasons that have more to do with their friends than the home situation, the Courts scrutinize these requests carefully.
You can change custody either by reaching an agreement with your ex, modifying the existing agreement and providing that modification to the court, or you can petition the court for a change of custody if you can not get one on consent. It is unlikely that the court would change the joint custody unless there was substantial, provable stress and the children were not doing well as a direct result of that specific stress. It would be your burden to prove those allegations to the court. I am assuming that the girls have tried to talk this over with their father in a reasonable way and that he is opposed to even a partial or gradual change or trial period? Negotiation is often the answer in these situations. Finally, your older daughter will be beyond "custody" when she reaches 18.
Re: the rights of the child in divorce
Changes are a big part of life and the courts recognize this. You can make the desired changes.
The method is to petition for a 'modification' of the original custody order. You must go to the original court to do this, unless it is incredibly inconvenient for you. It must be done as either an 'order to show cause' or as a motion on notice.
As teenagers, your daughters will have a significant say in the new arrangement.
While the court may find the purpose of the modification is to enable teen-age girls to spend more time with their friends, this is a sufficient purpose. In fact, this may be sufficient reason to get your ex to agree to the change.
I hope that is one of the prime reasons for thier desire to seek the change and not something more destructive.
You are welcome to a consultation for no fee.