Legal Question in Family Law in New York
Seperation vs. divorce
My husband & I have been married since 1998, & we have 2 kids both under 9. Back in '06 we seperated after cheating on me with 2 different women. 1 he left me for. His reasoning was he thought I was cheating. We have been trying to work this out but he's been Mad a lot, & Ithink something is still going on we don't spend time with each other, he's Always asking favors from my family(can i borrow the $100,or the truck), but not from his side(truck-never,might hurt it,$$ from them is pd back now,he still ows my mom)..we all live with my parents-they don't ask rent.My question is sould we do a leagel seperation? Hubby has job,I don't, I volunteer @ our school & all over. If our marrage isn't working what can we do? His Only reason is he dont want to be alone he'll miss me, but im rite here & he dont care. I spend too much, i dont do enouph, i dont cook, or im making him fat(from baking) he screams @ me, But if im gone he'll ''miss'' me.i dont like fightin in front of our kids, but if hes not yellin @ me then its @ them. I dont want to be in this, i don't want to do this any more. What can i do?? what should i do?? shuoldint i count to? (His mom left him when he was 8, his dad raised them.-out of his family, No-one likes me,.)
1 Answer from Attorneys
Re: Seperation vs. divorce
The first item to consider is do you still want to be married to him. Is it in the best interests of the children to have him fighting with them and with you.
When I was in high school, many, many, years ago, I had an English Teacher who told us to take out a sheet of paper and write down on the paper all of our friends. Next she said to cross out all of those friends who wish more for themselves then for your. We thought about it for awile, didn't know what to do. Finally she said you should only be left with one name - your mother. She is the only person in the world who thinks wants more for you then she does for herself.
The moral of the story is ask your mother if she thinks that you should stay with him. She will give you the best advice.
Being a father, I now disagree with that conclusion. I wish more for my children then I do for myself.
So for a second opinion ask your father.
But remember, it is - in the end- your choice to make.
Legal Separations went out of vogue 25 years ago. It is just as easy to get a divorce, and if you want to get married again it is cheaper to buy a marriage certificate, then to go through another divorce proceeding.
You would be entitled to child support, and with 2 children that would be 25% of his gross less fica.
Roughly take 92% of his gross income and that would be what he owes you for child support.
All of the assets acquired during the marriage would be divided equitably.
In this day and age divorce is common. Courts don't believe that if one person can't get along with the other, that they should remain married.
If your marriage isn't working, get an experienced divorce lawyer. Do it now before it gets any worse.
If you would like to discuss this matter further, feel free to contact me.
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