Legal Question in Family Law in New York
Seperation
I have been the sole provider for my wife and family for the last 5 years. My wife just recently got a job. She takes care of all the finances so I have no idea of our financial situation. If I leave her and our 2 kids and move into an apartment, will she get everything because I ''abandoned'' her? I want a seperation but do not know the best way to do so to protect myself.
2 Answers from Attorneys
Re: Seperation
No. Abandonment constitutes grounds for a divorce. And abandonment must be for 1 year. There is also constructive abandonment. That is where - technically- you do not have sex with your wife for 1 year.
Once there are grounds for a divorce marital property is divided by equitable distribution. That does not mean you lose everything. That technically does not mean 50/50 split (although in most cases it is an even split), it means a fair split. In other words, you get out what you put into the marriage.
If the fighting is so heated that it is not in the best interest of the child (or of you) to stay in the apartment, then you should leave. My advice probably runs contrary to many attorneys but I always think it is best to diffuse the situation, if possible.
The best way to protect yourself is to copy all financial documents. This means all tax returns, credit card statements, utility bills, leases, paystubs, anything that would give the court a snapshot of living conditions immediately before the commencment of the divorce. Should the spouse deviate from normal spending habits, you would be able to demonstrate this by producing records to the Court. Also, your attorney will appreciate the documents when preparing the Net Worth Statement (a statement filed with the Court under NY Domestic Relations Law).
Mike.
Re: Seperation
I agree with attorney Markowitz, except that you should consult an attorney with more details about your relationship with the children and your position with regard to custody and child support, as well as equitable distribution, before moving out.