Legal Question in Family Law in New York
I think I was setup an what are my rights?
Well this is the story. I started dating a women this summer that was just recently seperated from her husband.
and it seems after 3 months she was pregant. Wow a baby that's a great thing. I was will to try to make this work for the baby's sake. The problem is that she almost immediately she changed they way she was toward me.
and shortly after told me that she was going back to her husband and the childs last name was going to be his. Well this upset me but then 2 weeks later she was willing to be friends and allow the baby's name to be her's (which is his)dash Mine. Which I think is because he wouldn't take her back. Also since she became pregant I've been giving her money to help her out with her expences. and to demistrate that I'm committed to this child. And here lies the problem I think that she believe that when the child is born that it will be with her all the time at least in the begining. This really bothers me because this is the bonding stage of the child. Being that I've allready have custodial custady of my other son what are the chances that I can get at least shared custady of this child from the begining? And if she decides not to give the child my last name do I have any legal rights?
2 Answers from Attorneys
Re: I think I was setup an what are my rights?
You should talk to one of my current clients, Michael 'X'. He became involved with a woman who had entered a 'green card marriage' two months before they started seeing each other.
It has been a nightmare for him until the lawyers became involved. Now it is manageable.
(1) document your involvement every step of the way. - attendance at pre-natal medical appts, attendance at birth, time spent with child.
document ALL money contributed.
document if she moves in with you
A journal is necessary. Also, video. Also receipts and other authenticating records must be meticulously kept
(2) It will go like this: the first year you will be deeply involved. Then, she will become moody and look for other options and, perhaps, other lifestyles. Perhaps she will notice that you do not make enough money for her taste.
The next move will be to establish her own residence (family in the area?) and deny you access to the child for a minimum of 6 months before she petitions for custody and support.
You will be surprised to find that you have had no interest in the child but only in stopping by occasionally to fill your physical needs with the mother.
You apparently wrecked her marriage, got her pregnant, and then left her to fend for herself and your child on her own.
And so: what can you prove?
(3) If there are no allegations that she is an 'unfit parent' then you will not get custody.
Cynical, yes. But this is what I have learned as an attorney.
I am in Westchester County and am available to talk with you in person by appointment as far North as exit 16 on the NY Thruway or something similar.
Re: I think I was setup an what are my rights?
You should consult with an attorney as soon as possible to discuss your case in detail and learn how to protect your and the child's rights. In NY, custody is determined on the basis of the child's best interests, and the commitment and interest you demonstrate early on will impact the court's analysis, as will many other factors in and out of your control. Feel free to call my office for an appointment.
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