Legal Question in Family Law in New York
visitation of adopted children
my ex husband adopted my daughters. we had a son together. my ex has only visited with the girls 10 times in 2 years but his mother takes our son every other weekend. my ex and his mother have made my girls feel unwanted. my ex and his mother have stated they want nothing to do with the girls they only want my son. they said they have no obligation to the girls. this has caused a great emotional mess in my family. i told the father that if he will not visit all 3 children then he can not just visit our son. i have asked him to go to family counseling, i have tried speaking with his mother. they are adament about their feelings towards the girls. what is the legal outcome most likely going to be? i have petitioned the court asking the father be mandated to family counseling and have visitation suspended until he completes. my ex lives with his mother and i do not want her to have any contact with my children, what are my rights regarding that? my ex and his mother have made my children feel unwanted and the girls do not want to see the grandmother and now they are using that the girls do not want to visit as an excuse for not having visited the girls.
can visitation rights to all 3 children be stopped?
1 Answer from Attorneys
Re: visitation of adopted children
Probaby not. A parent does not have an affirmative "legal" obligation to treat his or her children the same or even equitably, except with respect to and in the area of child support.
Therefore, notwithstanding your EX's adoption of your girls, it is unlikely the Court will grant your application to mandate "counseling" for your EX, merely because he no longer wants to "father" your girls.
Unless it is your intention to entirely sever and end your son's relationship with his father, it is also unwise, to attempt to condition your son's visitation and contact with his father upon his father's visitation and contact with your daughters. Please remember that Each child's needs and relationship with a parent (or anyone) is a Separate and Individual matter, (ie., each child in a family has a different parent, because each child has a different and separate relationship with the parent/s)
It is also unlikely that the Court will mandate that visitation must be away from your Ex's home, which he shares with his mother, without more than your objection to his and his mother's attitude and position viz your daughters, that you feel is hurtful.
Focus on involving your daughters in things and on healthy relationships with others, that reinforces their self esteem and confidence. Do not permit them to dwell upon the hurt, disappointment and loss of their surrogate father.
Good luck,
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