Legal Question in Family Law in New York

Visiting my father.

I am a 14 1/2 year old girl who lives with her mother 50% time and her father 50% time. Each Sunday night at 7p.m. I switch to the other parents house. My father always compares me to my sister, her being better then me and questioning me whenever i go over to his house about happenings at my mothers house. He tells me specifically though that anything that goes on at ''his house'' doesn't leave ''his house.'' But, whenever i tell him that it shouldn't matter and i shouldn't have to tell him what happens at my mothers because he wont let me tell her what goes on at his house. My mother and has always encouraged me to pursue my dreams and he has always put me down. When I'm at his house i don't have socialization with friends becuase i am listened upon on the phone and aren't allowed to go to friends houses anymore. He states that ''i need to have people over to his house'' but my friends are afraid of my father and wont go over there.

All i would like to do is be able to have a normal live without being emotionally and mentally abused from my father. At what age can i say i don't want to live with him? My law guardian doesn't take anything i say seriously and sides with my father. I am lost to what i can do.


Asked on 4/08/08, 3:55 pm

1 Answer from Attorneys

Joel Salinger Law Office of Joel R. Salinger

Re: Visiting my father.

First, you are not able to make a permanent decision about where you want to live until your 18 years old.

Second, you should have a serious disucssion with your mother about your concerns. She may be able to have her attorney make an application for a study to be done and an evaluation be performed but this can be very expensive and time consuming and many adults can't make that financial committment, not because they don't care about you but because they really can not afford the thousands of dollars it can cost.

Third, as for the law guardian, you have to try to make that attorney listen to you. That is supposed to be your advocate. You can try to remind them of that. If they won't, you may be stuck until you are at least 16 and can try to get someone to listen to you. At 16 you can even go to family court yourself and try to file a petition on your own behalf but that is tough to sustain.

Good Luck.

You can e-mail me questions at [email protected] and I can try to answer them in the future.

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Answered on 4/09/08, 5:21 pm


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