Legal Question in Family Law in North Carolina

My husband and I married in May 2002 after a two year relationship. We had our ups and downs because he lost work, car accident, illness, etc., but things were mostly good (as far as I was concerned). In July 2007, I found out that my husband cheated because child support papers were sent to my house. We "made up" I thought but in August 2009 I moved out because he threatened to kill my biological son (his stepson). Since then he has continued to cheat and today, July 31, I found another woman in the bed at the house that still holds my name. Question 1) Can I make him pay for the divorce if I file? 2) My last child has never known any other father than my husband, so would I be entitled to child support for her? 3) The house (which is in bankruptcy and foreclosure proceedings) still has my name attached to it, and $15,000 that was loaned to him by my now deceased father to which NOT ONE PENNY has been repaid. What are my options to receive child support, alimony (I do not work, but receive disability), repayment of the $15,000 loan, my name removed off the house and his paying for the divorce proceedings? I await your response.


Asked on 7/31/10, 3:50 pm

1 Answer from Attorneys

(1) Yes and no. No, you cannot force him to pay for the divorce. However, in matters concerning the distribution of your marital property, spousal support/alimony and any child support (to the extent that you had a child with him) you can ask for counsel fees to the extent that you are in financial need and he is able to pay.

(2) Your current husband is only liable to support the children that he either adopted or fathered. While this has been the only "daddy" that she has known, if he has not adopted or fathered her, he is not responsible.

(3) Your options to received alimony/spousal support seem to be good in that you have a cheating husband and you are financially needy as you are disabled. The house is in foreclosure/bankruptcy. I need to know more about that to know what if anything can be done. Any other assets? Regarding the loan, are there papers evidencing that this was a loan? And if you are in bankruptcy, was this loan included? Or was it treated like a gift? These questions need to be addressed. I do not know about the house because I need more facts. Are you on the loan as well as the deed? Usually, the spouse who wants the housee will buy out the share of the other spouse. Here you do not want it and I do not know if there is any equity in the house or not. If there is no equity, then you can sign a quitclaim deed over to your husband, However, whose name is on the loan? Quitclaiming the property to your husband will not remove your name from the loan and the only way to do that would be for him to refinance the home. Since you and he are in bankruptcy, that does not seem feasible.

My advice would be to go to a family law attorney in your area as quickly as possible. Some attorneys give free consults. If money is an obstacle, there is Legal Aid if you qualify. If you don't, then Charlotte has a self-serve center with many of the forms, although you need a Charlotte address. There is also a listing of do-it-yourself clinics as well as attorneys who provide limited legal services. Since you can recover counsel fees for alimony/spousal support, you might want to get an attorney for that purpose and try to resolve the other issues on your own. Divorce itself is not that complicated and there is a pro se divorce packet available. Some counties have it and some don't; if your county does not have it then go to Charlotte and borrow theirs. The procedure is basically the same. You will just have to make sure that your documents have your county name on them. Or you can just let your husband file for divorce when he is ready. You just want to make sure that your are not giving up any assets, so review the assets and debts that you have with the attorney to see if equitable distribution might also be an issue.

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Answered on 8/05/10, 4:58 pm


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