Legal Question in Family Law in North Carolina

First, how is this her step-son? Is this your son? I presume not. If this is her step-son from a former marriage then he is no longer a step-son. Anywho, this may come off as rude or offensive because it is likely just raw truth. I don't mean for it to be rude or offensive and I do realize that I likely don't have all the facts but I believe the best advice is to simply lay it out for you as I see it based on the description you gave. Besides, odds are you likely already know this deep down anyway. So here goes, if you want to 'force him to put things back as they were and abide by my rules' - YOU NEED TO MAN UP and stop allowing a 22 year old punk (and if he 'he thinks he can stay and ignore the house rules' and 'making minor modifications to my house against my wishes' - then he's a punk) and your wife dictate to you how things will be in your own house. If you don't want him there - tell him to leave. If he doesn't and you don't possess the physical ability / mental temperament to personally and physically throw him out - call local law enforcement to remove him and have him charged with trespassing. Depending on the exact circumstances, it is possible he is or maybe considered a tenant. In which case you may have to actually evict him to get him out. If all of this fails nothing says you have to be nice and accommodating to him. So a passive / aggressive approach may be more to your liking. Remove the fuses that provide electricity to 'his' side of the house. Put locks on all your cabinets and the fridge. Dump your trash on his side of the house. The list of legal but annoying things you can do to make life very uncomfortable for him is virtually only limited by your imagination. Best of luck ridding yourself of this problem.