Legal Question in Family Law in North Carolina
My son's father has never seen the child nor attempted to try to see him. As it turns out he was sleeping with another woman who knew about me & the baby during the majority of my pregnancy. I left him when I was 7 months pregnant while he sat by & watched me 7month pregnant with his little boy lift & carry heavy things out of the home. His new girlfriend knowingly participated in this relationship thus, I feel that says a lot about her character and what she may teach my son. I was told in North Carolina that I have to file for custody even though I am the only one on the birth certificate. So I hired an attorney. My ex showed up in the court & ask for a continuance he got one for 30 days to retain counsel so now two days before the hearing he has JUST retained counsel and is going to be granted 30 more days. In this custody agreement, is there a way to keep the woman who I do not know away and assure that my sons time is just between him & his dad? Also, he hit me when I was 6months pregnant & a bystander called the police, his home is unfit (no heat, air, urine stains feces stains in floor, soot on walls from karosene heater, unstable stairs to basement, septic tank backing up, plumbing problems, basement floods and there is mold and rats, house is also infested with bugs) please can someone give me my options. My attorney does not seem to concerned and at times he seems to almost be looking after the fathers interest & not mine & my sons. We live two hours apart now and I feel that all the father will do is bad mouth me and put my son into questionable situations. What is the minimum visitation that can be granted and still receive support?
Let me be clear here. I have made attempts to contact the childs father directly AND indirectly through his family with no response. He makes very good money ($70,000) he assumed zero financial responsibility or any other parental responsibility for that matter. To this point he has indicated by action no intent to establish a relationship with our son. I am seeking support for when my son gets to the age with questions & wants to personally seek out a relationship with his father I need to be able to support my sons decision to do so. If support is paid I intend to try to save the majority if not all of it for my sons future (college, car, etc.,) I feel it is the right thing to do. At this point I am worried about my exs temper, living conditions and serial dating habits.
That being said, is there a way to keep these women away from my son for my worry of the confusion it could cause my son for the many "mommy roles" I'm okay with it as long as I know the woman would be a permanent situation. The visitation I want to be minimum because of the living conditions and distance between the two of us.
1 Answer from Attorneys
Yes, it is possible you could receive child support and he could be ordered not to have visitation or some sort of limited / supervised visitation outside his house until he resolves the home issues you describe. There are several ways to do this. You and your attorney should discuss the pros and cons of each and decided on a course of action. One way is to get the gestapo-like Dept. of Social Services involved. They will most likely do a home study and report to the Court. I am no fan of DSS but it is one option. They are a mixed bag of results and are like Pandora's box - once opened and all up in your business it is often difficult to rein them back in. They will tenaciously do what they believe is in the best interest of the child and can turn their fury on you as easily as on the father. As to keeping the 'women' away, this is hillbilly North Carolina and there are still plenty of old crotchety sanctimonious judges on the bench who hold incredibly conservative, draconian ideals regarding 'appropriate' environments for children who may be all too happy to order that no members of the opposite sex be around the child during visitation. However, there are no guarantee's, the outcome of these types of cases is difficult to predict, it depends on a whole host of factors but probably the most important is who the judge is - your attorney should be able to fill you in on who the most favorable judges are in your district for your particular situation. Hopefully this information helps!
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