Legal Question in Family Law in North Carolina

Really? The answer is no if this was a gift. It was not your responsibility to pay for your daughter's wedding. If she could not afford it then she could have had a quiet reception with only very limited friends and family or got married by a district magistrate cheaply. Nobody held a gun to your head to make you pay, You did it out of love for your daughter. Of course, if you have signed documents indicating that this was a loan, that is different. Then your daughter would have to pay.

Personally, I think that is a rotten way for your daughter to act. But asking for the money back is not the answer. Your daughter is going to want something in the future and then she will come a-calling and magically find the time.

Whether you grant her the time of day or what she wants is up to you. This is a moral question, not a legal question, so you have to let your own moral compass be your guide. If she wants to act ungrateful, so be it. I would not call her or your grandson. I would have nothing more to do with them. I would make sure that you revise your wills to disinherit at least your daughter if not both your daughter and grandson. There are lots of worth recipients of your wealth so don't squander any more of it on your daughter.

Or you can take it on a case by case basis and tell her no when you feel like it. For example, if she asks you to babysit, tell her politely that "no, you are just to busy." Eventually she will get the message.

Your daughter's behavior is not a reflection on you. You will have to live with the consequences of whatever you decide, so think carefully about this. You cannot change your daughter's behavior. But you can change your behavior; how you choose to act is entirely up to you. You can keep doing what you are doing or you can completely cut your daughter and grandson out of your life. Or you can do something in between.

You could try talking to your daughter and telling her how hurtful her actions have been. Or you could see why she is so "busy". Is she under some kind of stress perhaps (money or some other problem in her marriage) and she is just too embarrassed to talk to you about it? Is her new husband beating her and she doesn't want you to find out? I don't know so I am just throwing this out as a possibility. The only way to find out is to talk with her. If she still brushes you off, at least you know you tried and then you can pursue one of the other options I suggested.