Legal Question in Family Law in North Carolina
ex wife using kids
My fiance's exwife has been using the kids (11 & 6) to get what she wants. I didnt believe it at first, but I actually had an email wherein she told the kids (within one hour of discussion) that dad doesnt want to pay the dental bills. My fiance called the next day, apologized for getting upset and asked to mail a copy of the bill so he can pay 50%. But damage has been done to the kids. She could at least waited a day for my fiance to find money. But this seems to be the pattern, and she doesnt know about us getting married. Now I am predicting she is going to do something horrible to our relationship. I dont mind man-grabbing games (Im pretty secure in the relationship), but when she uses the kids (ex: ''kids and I dont have a place to stay, can we stay with you and your fiance?'') I am in a no-win situation. I know this is silly, but considering her manipulative behavior, she will use the poor children. And that is not fair to the kids, and I would like ask for legal basis where kids should not be put in the middle. Thank you.
1 Answer from Attorneys
Re: ex wife using kids
Many people cannot understand why I say that criminal
law and clientele is relatively calm compared to
domestic. Criminals just want money. Domestic
litigants want blood and souls.
All domestic judgments regarding custody and visitation
are based on the premise "the best interests of the children".
That is the prime concern in making any award.
I do not see a particular question in your letter
other than should she use the kids. No. Do all
custodial parents use the kids as leverage . Yes.
If she is looking at raising kids by herself
and husband having a lovely new relationship
she will be after him for support. My experience is
that when she finds out about marriage plans
and the possibility of a new family for him
she may actually turn up the pressure.
Check to see whether there is a visitation schedule
in place. Remember that visitation and payment
of child support are not directly related questions.
Your income is not used in calculating gross income
of the two parents even though she will always
mention it. Show the kids you love them and never
slam the mother. Kids cope and will use your
words in difficult circumstances, putting you
in the middle. Good luck. Stay strong and cool.
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