Legal Question in Wills and Trusts in North Carolina

I don't understand. You claim that this was your "wife" in one sentence and then claim you were not legally married. Now which is it? North Carolina does not recognize common law marriages. A few states still do but the marriage would have to be deemed valid according to the laws of whatever state it occurred in and the states have various requirements. Assuming that you are indeed validly common law married, then you could claim a portion of the estate. Spouses cannot be disinherited under NC law.

Assuming you are not married, you can sue the estate of your file. You begin by filing a claim for the unpaid HOA dues and such. If the claim is denied, then you sue. You will need a lawyer for this.

As per your post, you already filed a claim. I don't understand how the executor could leave the country with an unfinished estate. Is she coming back? If the executor is not doing her job then she always be removed. In such case, file a removal petition. Again, you will need a lawyer.

Litigation is expensive - how much are you owed and what probate assets are in the estate? Claims have to be paid in order of priority, and you having an unliquidated claim will be lumped in with all the other unsecured creditors. If the estate has no money/assets or any assets/money are exhausted by higher priority claims, then you are going to recover nothing and it would not make sense to spend the money on litigation or removing the executor.

I would go to the county where the estate is pending and make a copy of the will and 90-day inventory as well as any claims filed with the court. I would then go and see a probate attorney who practices in the county where the estate is pending. Pay the attorney to review the documents. Tell the attorney as to how it is you claim to be married and see if there is any way to claim an elective share of the estate. If you are not married, ask the lawyer if any kind of a lawsuit against the estate would be worthwhile given the probate assets. If the lawyer says yes, then ask about removing the executor if she has fled the country or about suing the estate.