Legal Question in Wills and Trusts in North Carolina

I am my mothers full time care giver, and also her poa. I have four other siblings and in the past year I have been forced at times to unplug my phone due to my siblings constant abusive phone calls. They constantly want money from my mother and she is not financially able to support them. Recently she dicided that she wanted me to sell one of her rentals, the phone calls and abuse became so bad again I was forced to unplug my phone because my siblings were calling trying to force my mother to give them a copy of her will. Well when I didnt answer the phone I was then acused of not allowing them to get through to their mother, as you see I cant do anything right and they are never around to help unless money is involved. What can I do to protect my mother from this abuse,? I know she loves all her children and I would love for her to have a normal relationship with them. But I just dont see that happening. Please help me.


Asked on 9/17/11, 7:09 pm

1 Answer from Attorneys

Unless your mother is mentally incompetent, its up to your mother to talk with her children or not. So why do you have to be a gatekeeper? Why can't you get a cell phone for your mother, give your siblings that number and tell them to call mother directly? Your mother needs to tell your siblings that she loves them but has no money to help. She also needs to be firm and if they become abusive, she can tell them sweetly that she does not have to leave them a dime and if they wish to continue their abusive tirade then she will make sure that she revises her will to leave them a big fat goose egg (i,e, $0). And then she can hang up and not answer her cell phone.

And if this is the same post as previously answered by me, I don't know why your mother must show them a copy of your her will. Your mother is not obligated to discuss her estate plan with any of her children.

I suppose that whomever has healthcare power of attorney for your mother can write a letter to each of your siblings and explain that your mother does not wish to speak to them unless they can be civil and polite and set forth specific times to call. But it really should not come down to this.

Understand, that if your siblings wish it, then they can bring a guardianship proceeding. In the proceeding, they can seek to become guardian over your mother's person and/or property. From your post, they are more interested in finances and if that is the case, I am sure that they only want control over the money. Being guardian is not all that easy though. They have to first show the court that your mother is mentally incompetent (this is done via medical evidence) and even if they can overcome this hurdle, they would have to show why they should be appointed guardian and not you. If you have evidence as to how you have cared for your mother and her property and evidence of their abuse, they will not make it very far. Do they have money for all of this? Do they understand how expensive litigation is and that they need a lawyer?

Short of them filing a guardianship, if they continue with the abuse, then I would get a restraining order against them. Again, you would have to go to court for this and should get a lawyer.

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Answered on 9/19/11, 1:22 pm


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