Legal Question in Wills and Trusts in North Carolina

I don't know how a person can verbally make sure they are an executor. if there is a written will, an executor is named in the will. If there is no will, then anyone can apply to be administrator but it also means that anyone else can object and if they do the court will decide.

Second, the executor obviously is not doing her job if she is letting others take assets. However, from your post she is not the executor, you are. So you need to get appointed by the court. I don't know what papers you are seeking. The only relevant paper is a will and I don't know how you would know you are the executor unless you had that in your possession.

Whatever happened at the gravesite is meaningless and irrelevant. Talk of lawsuits is premature. You need to stop asking questions on a public bulletin board and start talking to a probate attorney who practices in the county/state where your wife's mother lived at t he time of her death. You need to file the will and apply for probate of the estate. once appointed, you will then have the legal authority to compel people to bring back any property that was taken or else have it charged to their share. If the aunt caused any loss to the estate, then the estate can sue her.

I don't know enough details to know if the aunt acted criminally or not. That is a subject you can discuss with the probate attorney. Your focus should be on probating the estate and getting estate property restored, not on punishment.

And what other compensation do you want? This is not a pain and suffering bodily injury case. No bodily injury was done to your wife or you. While the aunt's actions may be distressinng, this is really not the thing to make one lose it emotionally.

Death is a part of life. Children expect their parents to die at some point. While a person's passing admitted leaves a hole in one's psyche, there is no reason to morn. It is a reason to rejoice instead. No, not because one is happy that another is dead, but because the deceased person has moved on to real life. This is not real life. Death is a relief to the dead person; the dead person gets to go "home" to what you call heaven. Anyone who has died and come back will tell you that (in most cases) the trip has been pleasant and the person did not want to come back to earth. However, no one dies. People are energy and energy can neither be created nor destroyed - it just changes form. When the body dies, thee soul is liberated from its earthly prison. Your wife's mother is not dead - she is just in her pure sould form. Your wife can talk to her mother. . ITs not the same as having a conversation between two living embodied people but if your wife is very still and listens, her mother may speak to your wife in some way - could be a song on the radio, or a flower growing in a strange place, or a whiff of cooking aromas or perfume or something else - maybe your wife's mother will pay her a visit while your wife is sleeping and dreaming. Who knows? The point is that there is no need to grieve or morn or have a breakdown over this.