Legal Question in Family Law in Oregon

Re: Do engagement rings get returned to the donor?

Generally, unless otherwise specified or agreed to, the engagement ring is a "conditional gift," given on the premise and assumption of marriage.

The ring is usually offered by a man to a woman as part of a proposal to marry. Customarily, if the proposal to marry is rejected, the ring is not accepted. Similarly, if the proposal is initially accepted, along with the ring, and the woman who initially accepted subsequently changes her mind and calls off the "agreement to marry," she will return the ring. Indeed, in most states she is required to do so if the "giver" so requests.

But if it is the "giver" (the man who made the proposal) who changes his mind and calls off (rescinds) the proposal), the woman gets to keep the ring IF the reason for calling off the proposed wedding is not attributable to the woman. (For example, if he calls off the proposed marriage because he has just discoved that she is already married to some other man and that she just forgot to earlier mention that little fact, she has to give back the ring, even though he is the one calling off the marriage.) But not so if the cancellation is due entirely to his own actions, i.e., he found another gal who he likes better.

Kinda like a prospective buyer of real estate making an offer to purchase accompanied by "earnest money." If the seller accepts the offer and the buyer subsequently calls off the deal (without any wrongful conduct on the part of the seller), the buyer forfeits the earnest the money and the seller gets to keep it. Same with the engagement ring.

If dispute still exists, take the case to Judge Judy and see what SHE has to say. :-)