Legal Question in Family Law in Oregon
My sons biological father has not seen him since he was 6 months old and has made no attempt to try and contact us. (My son is 6 now) I never went to court for the whole child support thing because I felt it was more important for my son to have his dad in his life than money every month. So he hasn't seen him in forever and has fathered 2 more children. Basically what I want is the money he would have paid me in child support over the past 6 years. My husband wants to adopt my son but I feel he owes my son the money. So I am wanting to know if I took him to court for child support if he would be awarded visitation rights even though he hasn't seen my son in 6 years.
1 Answer from Attorneys
Unfortunately, you employed a poor strategy, albeit well-motivated. In hindsight, what you should have done six years ago is to get a court order for child support and then, once you had the court order, you would have then told you child's father that it was more important for your son to have his dad in his life than money, so you would opt to NOT enforce the child support order so long as he stuck to a regular visitation program. But it is now too late to do that.
More unfortunately, by not having taken action over the past six years to establish a child support order, you are precluded from doing so now, at least to the extent of getting "retroactive" support. In essence, by not taking action in a timely manner, you legally "waived" your right to obtain support. So if you sought to have a support order established now, it would be "prospective" only.
More importantly than money, however (as you pointed out) is the need for your son to have a father in his life. And, fortunately for your son, and for you, that has now happened, And the man who has become your child's father is your husband, who now wants to adopt and thereby make the father-son relationship fully legal.
My suggestion: For the sake of your child, and for yourself as well, quit looking to the past and look to the future. Gat ahold of a lawyer and get the stepparent adoption proceeding started, the sooner the better. The process will be a lot smoother if you can get your son's father to sign a formal Consent to Adoption, which under the circumstances probably would not be too difficult to get. (Let him know that upon signing the Consent to Adopt, you will of waive and forego all claims you may have against him for past and future child support This usually produces a quick and affirmative response from father.)
LAWRENCE D. GORIN
Law Offices of L.D. Gorin
521 S.W. Clay St., Suite 205
Portland, Oregon 97201
Phone: 503-224-8884
Fax: 503-226-1321
E-mail: [email protected]
http://www.divorcesource.com/OR/pages/ldgorin.html
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