Legal Question in Family Law in Pennsylvania
Interesting situation... my ex and I have shared legal custody of our 2 children, with me having primary custody (more than 50%). Our son has not gone to his father's house in over 2 years due to some physical/mental/emotional abuse to where our son got CYS involved and, though they found it "unfounded" (meaning, something may or may not have happened, but they couldn't conclusively prove there has been ongoing abuse... riiiiigggghhhhttttt), his father told me to just keep him at my house because he was told "a dog that always wants to get away will never be your dog". Ok, so anyway...
Our son was diagnosed by a psychiatrist as having Aspergers Syndrome (a type of autism) and I would like to get help for him, but his father refuses to acknowledge that this is what the psychiatrist said, so he won't sign off any ANYTHING for this kid (who is now 14). Our son lives with me 100% of the time, but it's not on paper, and his father would never do that because he would have to pay more support.
My question is simple. Now that our son has been living with me full time, what precedent do I have to be able to get it finalized on paper that I have sole custody so that I can do what I need to as far as his condition? Of course, if my son would ever want to see his father, I would not stand in the way. Our daughter will still continue to go as per the agreement because, for whatever reason, he doesn't/didn't treat her as badly, so she doesn't mind going. This is another issue, because dad's family is telling her that her brother is a faker and that her mother is stupid and she makes comments to her brother that it's all in his head and their relationship is beginning to have some serious problems. Ex's girlfriend's mother even wrote my son a letter in his Christmas card that he is ignorant and is hurting his father who has done nothing to him. It caused our son much pain, but my ex is brilliant at keeping up a "I'm a wonderful guy" facade and "verbal judo", as he calls it. He is an officer, so he knows how to hurt without leaving marks. It took a long time to get CYS involved to where they would do anything. Our son would say stuff to teachers... they never did anything and I thought they were required to, but they would talk to my ex and he would poo-poo it and they accepted it. All of that went on for five years for this poor kid who would scream and cry every time I had to do the exchange.
My fear is that, if I try for full custody of our son, my ex will "even it out" by trying to get full custody of our daughter. I can't afford a lawyer. I'd have to it all on my own. This is another huge advantage he has because he has a good supply of money to pay for an attorney.
1 Answer from Attorneys
Call Lawyer's referral from your local Bar Association
They will set up a half hour conference for very legal money---you may even be able to get free or lower cost legal help than yoususpect.....
Definitely pursue it so your son can get help
Theremay be other ways you can pettiion the Court for help and a visit to your family intake unit in your court house may be of some help----
I am too far away from you, but if you tell me what area you are in, I could possibly refer you someone, but call the local Bar like I suggested and make a start---you never know,things may just fall right into place.
Godo luck and let me knwo how you make out
Saul segan
215-732-4000
www,saulhsegan.com
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