Legal Question in Family Law in Rhode Island
family/children
My partner left me for another man after 11 years and 2 children. We've been apart for approx. 1 month and she is already sleeping over this mans house with the children. He has 3 children of his own so my children are sleeping on a sofa in his basement. They have told me over and over that they don't like it there and cry when she picks them up from being with me. I have tried to tell her that this is not good for the children but she doesn't agree and does it anyway. I don't want to take her children from her but I don't know what to do. We relocated from Florida in March 2008, so I am currently living with my grandmother until I have a place of my own. We were living with her parents when I was asked to leave. I have been at my present job for less than 3 weeks. I need to know what I should do about the children sleeping over this mans house without. I failed to mention that he lives in Connecticut and I live in RI.
2 Answers from Attorneys
Re: Rhode Island Law: Overnight visitors of the opposite sex- when children are home-family law / children
If the children now reside in Rhode Island (RI) you may be able to seek a restraining order, restraining and enjoining your ex- girlfriend from having overnight visitors of the opposite sex when the minor children are home. In your case the restraining order would be allowing the children to stay at her boyfriends house overnight.
In your petition you would allege that it is not in the best interests of your children to have overnights when a boyfriend or girlfriend is present. You can allege that such overnights are harmful, confusing or detrimental to your child.
You may want to consider an ex-parte emergency motion seeking emergency and immediate relief. Ex parte means that the other party is not presnt when you obtain the restrianing order but has a right to a hearing within 20 days.
This issue is a hot button issue in Rhode Island divorce, visitation, custody and Family Law cases. I strongly suggest that you retain a RI Family Law Attorney/ Lawyer. I would be happy to speak with you.
Some judges are diametrically opposed to overnight visitors and others look at the best interest of the children and the facts of the particular case. Some judges look at whether the party who seeks the restrianing order was ever married to the other party.
There are several other issues that may be pertinant to your case. What Court has jurisdiction over your children to make custody/ visitation orders? The rule of thumb is that the Court that has jurisdiction is where the children have resided for over 6 months. However, there are exceptions to this rule. The exceptions may apply in your case.
From the facts presented it is unclear to me whether the proper forum in your case is Rhode Island, Connecticut or Florida. This answer only relates to the law in Rhode Island
Re: family/children
There is not enough information to determine with certainty that Rhode Island could assume jurisdiction over this matter. It may be possible to argue that the home state of these children is Rhode Island (provided you have primary placement of these children) and thus Rhode Island has an interest in protecting your children.
However, it is also possible that either Florida or Connecticut might have more appropriate jurisdiction.
Florida could be argued because it was the children's last state of residence and you have lived in RI less than 6 months which is the traditional benchmark for our state's assumption of jurisdiction regarding minor children within the state's borders. Connecticut could be argued as the proper jurisdiction if your children are with their mother more than half of the time. Connecticut might provide laws that allow it's state to assume jurisdiction earlier than the laws of Rhode Island. This is a subject I am unable to comment upon since I am licensed only in Rhode Island.
You should engage an family law attorney to determine if Rhode Island can assume jurisdiction. If so, I recommend filing a Motion with the Rhode Island Family Court in the Family Court in the county in which you reside . In the motion you set forth that the mother is taking the children overnight to her new boyfriend's home and that this is detrimental to the well-being of your children, etc. .
Ideally, if you took your children to a doctor or counselor or had information from someone at the children's daycare or school which gives any indication of an adverse affect on your children as a result of these visits, other than just the children's statements to you as their parent, this would give more credence to your allegations. Personally, I would suggest proceeding by obtaining an Emergency Ex Parte Restraining order prohibiting the children either from visiting overnight in Connecticut while this man is present or from allowing the mother visitation outside the state of Rhode Island.
Judges in Rhode Island will err on the side of caution when it comes to children and protecting them from harm. Therefore, if your motion is phrased properly and substantiated by one or more affidavits it is very likely to be granted on an ex-parte basis (i.e. with only your side being represented to the judge). The court will require that you give the mother notice of the action and any ex-parte order issued by the court and will afford her a full hearing on this issue within 21 days.
In your case, your greatest issue is jurisdiction. This is not a topic that can generally be undertaken by a layperson. Without jurisdiction in Rhode Island there's nothing you can do.
You should seek the legal advice of a full-time family law practitioner who has interviewed you and researched whether you have even arguable jurisdiction given the facts.
Please contact me if you are in need of professional help in this matter.