Legal Question in Family Law in Rhode Island

Non-Custodial Parent not being resonable

My Ex-wife and I have joint custody of our 8 year old son with physical placement being with me (father) and she having reasonable rights to visitation. I have had custody of my son since he was 10 months old. My ex does not pay child support because she did not show up for our divorce and custody hearing and they could not determine her employment status. I have never pursued it neither. My ex calls my son maybe once or twice year and has only visited him maybe 4 times in all the 8 years. However,she has not done so in the last four years. She recently lost custody of her oldest son to his father as well. Now she calls us out of the blue demanding that I let him go to Las Vegas for a week to visit with her seeing that she is his mother. We live in Rhode Island and I have no objections to her coming out to visit him. However, I have a major problem with sending my son on a plane by himself at 8 years old to visit someone he talks to maybe twice a year and has not seen in 4 years. He doesnt even remember her at all, even if they were in the same room and she knows this. I just feel that it is unresonable to do this due the fact that he doesnt know her. Now she is threatening to take me to court. What should I do?


Asked on 5/14/05, 7:24 pm

2 Answers from Attorneys

Staff General Counsel LawyersCollaborative

Re: Non-Custodial Parent not being resonable

You may want to consider telling your ex-spouse, in as nice a way as you possibly can muster, that she is welcome to come visit with the child at your home. Be sure to supervise, in as nice and unobtrusive a manner as you can. If she presses the Vegas trip, you may want to simply say something along the lines of, "Well, let's see how your relationship progresses here in RI first, then we can discuss taking trips." In other words, try not to let yourself be baited into fighting or getting angry. Stay as calm and collected as possible, while remaining resolute. In the meantime, I suggest you also contact the attorney that represented you in the initial divorce, as he or she will likely need less time (which means less in fees billed to you) to "get up to speed" in the event your ex-spouse does try to take action.

Best wishes, and good luck,

Scott Summer

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Answered on 5/15/05, 3:15 am
Jules D'Alessandro D'Alessandro & Wright

Re: Non-Custodial Parent not being resonable

You are right she is being unreasonable and more importantly her request is not in the best interest of the child which is the standard the court will apply. Generally speaking when a parent has absented themselves from a child's life or had only minimal contact for a significant period of time (8 years is certainly significant) the court will require supervised visitation. Obviously this will be difficult if the child is sent to Law Vegas. Your ex-wife also has the right to petition the court here in Rhode Island for any visitation beyond that which you are willing to give her. This is probably the best option as it will give everyone especially the court an opportunity to examine her as to her fitness as a parent. Last and most important of all if the child is allowed to go to Las Vegas there is a real danger of her keeping the child or moving to a place where you cannot find her or your child. Please be very careful

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Answered on 5/15/05, 6:38 am


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