My mother is 50 years old and has end stage renal failure. Along with renal failure she's also been diagnosed as severely depressed, anxiety, restless legs syndrome, diabetic, glaucoma, etc.... My siblings and I had cared for her until two months ago when she insisted that she move back to her home town. Oh yeah, we had moved her to the city where her 3 of her adult children live. After 6 months she convinces her brothers and sisters that she's ready to live on her own. Once she's on her own she returns to her ex-boyfriend. This gentleman is an alcoholic and is an enabler rather than a care giver. She has been in the hospital at least 30 of the 60 days she's been supposedly taking care of herself. Doctors have suggested that she is constantly in the hospital because she does not care for herself properly. When she was last admitted she was overdosed on her medication to the point she does not recall being taken to the hospital. While in the hospital the doctors recommended that she go to a rehab hospital to care for her until she was ready to go home however against the advice she checked herself out. I am worried that she is not thinking clearly and may hurt herself. Her depression is really bad and her being on Medicare she's not able to see a mental health specialist.
Can I as her eldest child do anything to keep her from further neglecting herself? Under her boyfriends care she has been overdosed and he's also shown up to medical facilities under the influence of alcohol.
2 Answers from Attorneys
You have a few different options. First, you may see about using an in-home care worker to help her. There are several different kinds available. Sometimes, you only need someone available to do hygiene, basic medical (dosing) and minor cooking/cleaning. If she can't afford such care, you may see about having her qualify through Medicaid. I would also recommend some estate planning (power of attorney, medical power, etc.) Second, if the situation is severe, you may consider filing for a guardianship. This would mean that a court would grant you power to take care of her. Feel free to contact me if you would like to discuss this further.
Dave
Please see my disclaimer
I agree with the other attorney. I like his suggestions.
Being the eldest child is irrelevant. I suggest a meeting of the children. The children in the city where she lives need to take over. I suggest that you work together as a "team". You need to all agree to work together and help each other.
If she won't cooperate, one of the children can go to court and ask the judge to grant a guardianship over her. I personally do not like guardianships. I recommend them only as a last resort. The person with the best credit rating and no criminal record should apply. It is time consuming, paper intensive and costs money. You will be under continuing court control. You will need to work with an experienced attorney so choose an attorney carefully -- pick someone that you can communicate with easily.
Good luck!
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