Legal Question in Family Law in Texas
Dirty laundry
Divorced 04/ 2005. Since that time my husband has used his summer visitation to ''wine and dine'' our boys. He has told them they can visit and live with him anytime they want. Now that they are living with me and I wont let them yell and scream and do whatever they want my ex says that HE wont take me back to court but he will get THEM a laywer and change costody. Ultimately he is making them chose. I divorced him for reasons that did not come out in the divorce because we decided that a long costody battle would not benifit our boys. We have joint costody, the boys live with me. My question is... my boys are 12 and have been with me for less than 2 months. I do not feel that my ex is either safe or has their best interest in mind. I think he just wants to be their friend and ''buddy'' Am I going to have to tell everything and make everything publc as to why he is not a qualified parent to have primary costody of our boys? Do people really have to air their dirty laundry. I hoped to never ever have to let my boys know why I divorced their dad or why I wasn't willing to live close enough to him for daily visits. I don't say anything to the boys about the ''why'' except to say I did what I felt I had to do for all of us. Laundry???
1 Answer from Attorneys
Re: Dirty laundry
After a child turns 12, he/she can designate which parent they would like to live with and be the primary custodian. However, it is not binding on the court. The courts look at "best interests of the children". This term is not defined anywhere in the State of Texas. I just finished Advanced Family Law and there were many comments made by attorneys on what does "BEST INTERESTS" REALLY MEAN -- IT'S A SUBJECTIVE TEST.
Your ex would need to file for a modification. He would need a change of circumstance -- since April 2005.
Children do not hire attorneys normally.
I suspect that he is trying to scare you.
However, the court can appoint an attorney to represent the children's interests. The parents normally split the costs of this attorney.
If a modification is filed, I would talk to your attorney about a family evaluation and/or a social study by a competent expert.
The problem you have is that you should NOT discuss the details of your divorce with your children. They are children and do not need to be burdened with adult responsibilities. Their job is to be a child. There is no reason for a child to know "dirt" on their parents.
One problem that I see for you is that all the old dirt that you had on your ex before April, 2005, cannot be brought up in court again.
On the date of your divorce being final, both of you started with a "CLEAN SLATE".
I urge you to consult with an attorney that handles a lot of family law cases. Then you will be prepared if he files for a modification.
Good luck!
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