Legal Question in Family Law in Texas
I have joint custody of my 3 year old with a man I was never married to and was only in a relationship with for about 6 months. I tried to just walk away from him because he acted like he owed us nothing when I was pregnant as far as preparations, but then when she was born, he acted like it was him that carried her for 9 months and went through the birth process, and not me. He was never much help to us but seems to care for his daughter so I've always let him come and go to see her instead of sticking to the custody agreement (even though he has never paid child support correctly or in full/on time) as long as he was acting right, but the problem is, that's only half of the time. He is a control freak and wants to be in a relationship with me, but I had broken off with him as soon as I found out I was pregnant because he lied to me and said he couldn't have kids. Now that I'm dating again, he is trying to strong arm me, threatening to take me back to court and take my daughter from me though I can't imagine what he thinks he can get that the judge hasn't already given him. He works for himself doing odd construction jobs "under the table" and still lives with his mom, has in the past had a drinking and drug problem and record (not sure about now, though I have smelled beer on his breath when bringing my daughter home or picking her up, which he denies), is a habitual liar, and is constantly saying one thing and doing another, or saying I said something or that he told me or asked me something regarding my daughter, that just isn't true. He also is verbally abusive, sending me texts of a harassing nature, letting me know about personal, private information of mine he knows about that he should have no way of knowing, like conversations I've had with my mother or boyfriend in the privacy of my own home (he also has taken documents with my DL and SS # and medical info, I guess just so he'd have it if he thought he could use it against me, he makes veiled threats about other things he knows, like what my boyfriend drives or how I "better go check on my boyfriends truck" when it's parked in my driveway if he's visiting, like he just drove by and did something, or letting me know he knows where my boyfriend lives, or letting me know an exact conversation I've had with friends via the internet and their names, which leads me to believe he has my house bugged and/or a key logger on my computer. Sounds paranoid I know, but he has always seen his daughter as a possession and I think he isn't above anything to try and get complete control of her, even if it means framing me or hurting me to get me out of the picture. I guess what I want to know is, can I get help with this matter, and what if any options do I have? I've tried to ask him to leave me alone and lets stick to the court order and it just gets worse with him calling all through the day, texting and showing up at my place unannounced, upsetting my daughter and family (my mother and grandmother live with me and my mom has issues which he tries to use against me too. She's an alcoholic and a hoarder, but I don't let my daughter go into her room, ever, and she is never around my daughter if she's drinking.) I can't get him to pay child support through the state either, and he owes me money, not to mention alot of money to my mom which he took for some work he was supposed to do, but never got around to. My daughter and I are in the process of moving into an apartment, and I don't want him to ever step foot into it because of the situation, but I know he's going to get so much worse when I tell him he's unwelcome there. He's been coming in the mornings to our old house for the last couple of months and taking my daughter to daycare and there's been a few times I've tried to cut that out because he acts so bad and like he's doing me a favor, even though he also guilt trips me saying my daughter really enjoys that extra time with him, and she does because otherwise, she he only comes around every other weekend, but I'm tired of the bullying and no respect for me or my privacy. He even says that I need to call him every day to report my daughters status and well being. If I ask for extra help on a night that isn't his, he acts like whatever it is that I want to do is more important than my child, but if I mention getting a babysitter, he says she won't stay with anyone unless he knows about and approves of them. I need help. There's alot more I could say and I've tried to keep a log of some of the problems. I should also say that I don't think he has anything on me other than maybe my boyfriend here after 10 a few times watching TV with me (there's a morality clause in the agreement saying no one in here after 10pm, but it's seldom been much after). Also, he acts like because I've meet some people online, I'm a horrible floosy, but my daughter has always come first, and what I would never put her into any danger. I have a son that lives with his dad and he tries to say he could use that against me too, but my son and I have a great relationship and the reason he lives with his dad isn't because of anything I did wrong, it's just because I was 20 and couldn't care for him as well as my 1st husband could when we split, so I made the hard decision to let my son live with him. We have joint custody and my sons is with me on holidays and spring and summer break. I keep thinking of things but I'll stop because I know this is all running together. I just started working again so don't have any money, it's all going to pay new bills associated with a new apartment. One more thing. He's threatening me with legal action because he said I didn't give him a month's notice on our move, but I did tell him, more than once, just not in writing because I forgot. Not to mention we aren't even moved in yet, it will be gradually over the next month because I have no help with that either. Any advice would be appreciated. Do you think I have a chance of getting some pro-bono help??
1 Answer from Attorneys
I've been doing family law for almost 20 years so your problem is not unusual. You have written a really long question. You are obviously going through a lot. These problems sound like they have been going on for a long time.
Houston Volunteer Lawyers Program at 713-228-0732 has pro bono services. However, they are really booked up. I just accepted a free case that is almost 3 years old! Therefore, I suggest you call them but be prepared to wait a lot time since your case is really a difficult one.
I offer consultations for $2 per minute. That is really low priced. It's cash at the time we meet. I assume it would take at least an hour for us to talk - $120. If we talk longer then it's more money. YOU CONTROL HOW MUCH YOU SPEND!
I really suggest that you hire an attorney. I rent office space from a really good attorney, PATRICIA BUSHMAN at 713-807-9405. I recommend that you call and make an appointment with her.
You really need an attorney. It sounds like you are in an abusive relationship and you don't even recognize it. The fact that he smells like beer does not sound good to me. The verbal abuse and the threats do not sound good either.
The fact that he is self-employed is always a problem and the judges are aware that it will be impossible to ever determine how much this man truly makes. Unfortunately, it will be impossible to ever determine his real income. Sorry!
Before you meet with any attorney, you will need a certified copy of the current court order. If you don't have one you can go downtown to the courthouse and order one for $1 per page.
Good luck!
Happy Thanksgiving!
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