Legal Question in Family Law in Utah

Re: Age at which a child can decide if he/she wants to live with Non custodial P

The courts look at a "best interests of the child" test to make the choice of which parent is preferred. The input of the child is only one of several considerations. Generally children are not objective enough to make independent and informed choices. They are subject to a lot of pressure from both parents - both spoken and unspoken. If your request is contested, the courts will order home and psychiatric studies of both parents, and will take evidence from other interested parties, including the children. This can be expensive and emotionally dangerous.

If your ex is unwilling to relinquish residential custody, and if she is a competent parent, I suggest that you move as close to her as reasonably possible - in the same neighborhood if at all possible. Make yourself conveniently available so the children can see you frequently and still maintain their school, neighborhood, and church connections. Offer to be the "babysitter" if your ex is away. Attend all of their functions, and in general be as much of a father as possible. Also discuss more liberalized visitation. (Note: the closer you are to the children, the easier additional visitation will be, and the fewer objections your ex will be able to raise.) It would also be wise to volunteer to increase your child support payments. (You can volunteer or wait for her to go back to court, either way with increased income you are legally responsible for more payments.)

Some parents are unwilling to make these kind of sacrifices for their children, which is a shame. Children find it very easy to see through selfishness. If you put your career or where you want to live as more important than being near the children, it will be painfully obvious to them.