Legal Question in Criminal Law in Virginia

Be careful, it depends on what is on the tape

The laws vary from state to state. Get the advice of an attorney in the state where you live. I am confused by the threat to turn them in to both Virginia and DC. Be ready to explain that to the lawyer you hire.

In many states, it is still illegal to have consentual adult sex. Fornication is still a crime, though it has not been prosecuted in many states in many years. Other acts may be considered illegal as well, depending on what you did and with whom/what. You must be very honest with the attorney you hire. Don't let him or her become surprised by the DA.

As to the former girlfriend, how did she "come into possession" of the tapes. Did she steal them? Did you give them to her? did your girlfriend give them to her? If she stole them, then she is guilty of a crime. Your attorney can help you sort this out, and protect your interests. Make sure you move ahead carefully here, you do not want to implicate yourself in a crime, just to get the former girlfriend sorted out. The problem may be particularly difficult if your girlfriend is underage, or appears to be underage.