Legal Question in Family Law in Virginia

Chances of Getting Sole Custody

My ex-boyfriend and I have a court date coming up soon. Right now I have temproary sole custody of her. We had agreed to get joint custody of out 20 month old daughter, but lately I've found out some disturbing things about him that has made me change my mind. For one, he has recently used drugs, specifically cocaine. He told me he had some about a month ago. And it wouldn't be the first time. He was using cocaine through out my pregnancy and he was out of control. He verbally, physically, and emotionally abused me while being pregnant. He even threatened my life and our daughter's life. But I thought that he had quit using it. And second, he is suicidal. He gets depressed and says he wants to kill himself. I even have an e-mail that he said he wanted me to give our daughter when he kills himself. It is pretty disturbing. Now I worry about her well being when she's with him. He's okay with her, but sometimes when he gets impatient, he hits her by slapping her hand or leg or yells at her. She is scared of him and she's only 20 months old! When I tell him to leave her alone, he tells me that he's her dad and he can do whatever he wants. What are my chances of getting sole custody and would I need a lawyer?


Asked on 10/08/07, 12:57 pm

1 Answer from Attorneys
Ruth Emily Kochard Ruth Emily Kochard, Counselor at Law

Re: Chances of Getting Sole Custody

Whether joint or sole custody is awarded will depend upon what, in the judge's eyes, is in the best interest of your child. If you seek sole custody you will need to establish how you would be a better custodian for your child. You should also of course raise the father's problems (via facts/evidence not just your opinion). As far as your chances of succeeding--this cannot be answered because not even the best case in the world is necessarily a given. However, based upon the difficulties the father is experiencing it certainly could make the court concerned about the stability/safety of the home. As far as hiring an attorney, certainly if you can afford to do so it would be advantageous since an attorney is trained to know the law and what is needed to increase the potential for success. If you cannot afford an attorney you may consider legal aid or will have to proceed pro se (on your own).

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Answered on 10/08/07, 10:28 pm


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