Legal Question in Family Law in Virginia
Hello. I desperately NEED advice fom you. I will give you some background first. I am living in a domestic violence shelter to stay away from my abusive ex. He never hit me, but he threatened me regularly and I was terrified of him. We were together for 4 years. About 2 months into the relationship, he knew I had nowhere to go but to stay with him - and suddenly he changed. He said I dressed like a skank a$$ wh*re and made me change my style of clothing. I was not allowed to talk to a man, be too close to a man (even if it was not my fault, like if I were at a checkout counter at a store and there was a man in front of me in line and one behind me, it would still be my fault for not finding a way to be further way from them), I couldn't look another man in the eye or speak to them, even if we were buying furniture I was not allowed to ask any questions to a male salesman. I could not work because he wanted to be able to have control over me, and if I had a male boss he wouldn't have been able to deal with me having to be under the control of a male boss while at work. I also however, was told I was worthless for not working. I got pregnant 4 months after we got together, and he tried to force me into having an abortion. He was mad at me for getting pregnant even though I told him I wanted a child and I would not be on birth control and we even bought condoms but he would not use them. When my daughter was born everything got worse. He didn't want me to breastfeed because he thought it was gross. He called me lazy for doing it. For the last 3 years he has berated me for everything you could think of. He makes comments such as "You are as f@#king stupid as the day is long" and "You are a tick on a dog's a$$". He told me everyday he wishes he had not had my daughter. I have had 2 major spinal sugeries while with him, and he couldn't be bothered to come home to help me with our daughter. He would call me lazy and say that I needed to get the f@#k up and deal with life, but my doctors orders were to stay on bed rest fo at least 6 weeks. He called me stupid all the time, called me retarded, said I was good for nothing even though I did everything for him at home. Every day I would get yelled at and berated, even right in front of his 17 year old son, who I wasn't allowed to speak to even though we lived in the same home. He would yell at me for taking my pain medications, and his son would hear all of this. I was absolutely humiliated. Loud noises make me jump and give me panic attacks now (I associate loud noises with the electric garage door that he came through to come in the house, he never used the front door, and when he came through that door, I knew I would be yelled at for something.) I have been told by my psychologist that I probably suffer from PTSD, anxiety, and depression due to all the years with him. If I could get a statement from a psychologist that they believe he caused this, could I sue him for emotional distress in the state of VA? And how do you put a dollar amount on emotional distress? Thank you so much.
1 Answer from Attorneys
The law in Virginia on the Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress is
as follows: In order to recover on this tort(civil wrong), a plaintiff must
satisfy four elements of proof: 1) that the wrongdoer's conduct was
intentional or reckless; 2) that the conduct was outrageous or intolerable;
3) that there was a causal connection between the wrongdoer's conduct
and the resulting emotional distress; 4) and that the resulting emotional distress
was severe. (See decision entitled Almy v. Grisham, 273 Va. 68, 77, 639
S.E. 2d 182, 186(2007).
Furthermore, the proof must be by clear and convincing evidence and not the
usual standard in civil cases of a mere preponderance of the evidence. (See
Supervalue, Inc. v. Johnson, 666 S.E 2d 335, 276, Va. 356 (Va. 2008).
Whether your case situation as described would satisfy all of the above referenced requirements would be difficult to say. However, a major consideration in such matters would be the enforceability of any judgment that you might obtain, i.e., if the defendant has no attachable assets or is a "runner/dodger type", you might never collect anything from it.