Legal Question in Family Law in Virginia

Should I file before he does?

Husband & I have been separated for 9 months. I left 3 months after he threw me to the ground and tried to choke me (3rd incident of abuse). No divorce papers yet. I raised the kids for 7 yrs. and just now got a job and have $10,000 of debt because I couldn't pay my bills after the separation. All that I ask of him is joint custody of the kids, no money or anything. He is now saying that he will try to get legal custody of the kids & child support from me. He makes $100,000/yr and I make $25,000 per year. I wanted to keep the divorce as clean and civil as possible, but he is trying to make it as difficult as he can. He has a lawyer but I cannot afford to pay for one and am not sure if I would qualify for legal assistance. Should I find a way to file before he does or wait for his papers? Also, what are my chances of getting spousal support or atleast getting some money from him to alleviate my debt? The money is not important to me, although it would help. What is most important is that I have joint, or even full custody of my kids. I've tried to be friendly with him but he continues to send me harassing emails at work and tries his best to upset me through the kids. Thanks for your help.


Asked on 6/23/06, 2:09 pm

1 Answer from Attorneys
Michael Hendrickson Law Office Michael E. Hendrickson

Re: Should I file before he does?

You would be well advised to consult with one of the low cost legal services providers in your local area to determine whether you might qualify for one of their attorneys at little or no cost to you.

As to your question regarding who should file first for the divorce is of minimal importance. No one should file until it is certain that the marriage should be dissolved and, if so, then you should arrange to ensure that your rights and interests are fully protected by having an appropriately qualified attorney to represent you.

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Answered on 6/23/06, 4:15 pm


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