Legal Question in Family Law in Virginia

Are you doing what is best for kids?

It sounds like you are out for revenge and not what is best for your children. Studies indicate that the children are better adjusted with substantial contact with the non-custodial parent and that child support is paid more often when visitation occurs. You don't want your children to blame you for having a poor relationship with their father. It is his choice. It sounds that the grandparents have a significant relationship with these children. If you seek to terminate the relationship with the grandparents will you hurt the children? In Massachusetts and other states, grandparents have the right to seek visitation on their own. You may terminate Dad's visits only to find a new legal fight with his parents. It appears that you wish to leave Virginia and move to Massachusetts. You probably need permission from your ex-husband or a Virginia court to do this. Courts generally require significant reasons before allowing a move to another state which reduces the contact with the non-custodial parent.

The Courts may learn your motives, and you could lose

The advice of attorney Pransky is something you should take to heart. Judges see situations of bitter fights between ex spouses, and can figure out when one person is trying to use the children to "get back" at the other person. If a judge conludes that this is what you are trying to do (hurt the father by denying him visitation), you could end up losing custody of the children, and the Court could award custody to the father. In addition, the Grandparents have visitation rights. In Massachusetts, for example, a new law was just signed (in the past few weeks) which gives Grandparents visitation rights to their grandchildren.

Marriage is supposed to be forever, but half the time it isn't (half of marriages end in divorce). Being a Mother or a Father is permanent. No matter what happens to a marriage, the children always have one father and one mother. If one parent cuts the children off from the other, the children will very often resent that for the rest of their lives, and that often results in the children cutting off their relationship with the parent who "took away their Father or Mother".

You may be able to learn about how children react through these difficult times from "Parenting" classes, which are offered now in many counties in Massachusetts, and may be offered in Virginia. If you brought a legal action in Massachusetts, the courts in many counties require that you attend Parenting classes, and they require a certificate of successful completion before they will even listen to your request for relief.

Please think carefully before you act on this matter. You could alienate your children. You could lose custody of your children. If you leave without the Court's permission, you could be prosecuted under the criminal laws, and maybe go to jail. Many single parents don't get child support, or their ex doesn't pay what is ordered. Many single parents have children that are sick or dying. Count you blessings, if you can. There are many single mothers who are far worse off than you are. I bet your children are beautiful and healthy, and loved by you.

This message is provided to assist you in structuring your thoughts when you speak with an attorney about your situation. I am not your attorney, and you are not my client, so this is not legal advice. Legal advice can only be given after a careful interview of the client by the attorney, and I have not had the opportunity to understand the significant issues that I must understand to render legal advice. You should contact an attorney in your state to discuss your situation. That attorney can give you the advice that your situation deserves, after carefully considering the issues that are legally significant in your situation.