Legal Question in Family Law in Virginia
I live in Virginia. My husband and I are currently separated (not legally and no filings for divorce). We have a 1 year old together and he's giving me a really hard time about him seeing the baby. I left him because back in November, he physically abused me. I reported the incident on January 3 and we're now awaiting trial. I am currently seeking counseling because of all that's been going on and what he is putting me through. Through the advice of both my counselors, and my lawyer, I should not let him see the baby. I let him see the baby twice because I felt like he was changing himself for the better. Until he lied to me about changing our mailing address (he has a history of lying). I got so upset with him because I hadn't gotten mail in 2 weeks and he told me he didn't do anything. Then I got a confirmation letter from USPS stating that there was a "family" move. When I confronted him he said "he didn't want to tell me what he was doing." This was our home address and he "moved" to a P.O. Box. I'm waiting on papers from the courts regarding custody and support because I filed early January and am waiting on the court date. Now he's telling me that I am denying him of his son and that I'm refusing him first right of refusal of our son. He has a history of neglect with him (stating that "if he touches fire once, he'll never touch it again" at the age of ONE!!...he always fought with me about changing his diaper because he NEVER wanted to do it....gave him a bath maybe 3 times total....does not interact with him, play with him, bond, etc.). I don't know what to do because now he's saying I'm trying to control everything, but really I'm trying to protect our son from my husband's behavior. My husband doesn't want to hear that and says that I have to give him a chance first, before anyone else, to watch our son while I go to work for a few hours twice a week. He's active duty Navy and I'm sure he's talking with his JAG officer from his command because you don't just pop up with "first right of refusal" if you're not a lawyer. He refuses to talk to me on the phone or in person and wants everything through text message or email. But I told him I was no longer communicating with him unless it was through telephone or face-to-face, but he states that if I don't tell him when I work, I'm refusing him of our son; however, I've called him numerous times today to discuss our son and he would let it ring and go to voicemail or hit the ignore button. What should I do?
1 Answer from Attorneys
As far as I am aware, a so-called "first right of refusal" normally applies to the sale of property, and I have never heard it applied to domestic relations matters nor in the context such as you've referenced.
If you have an attorney as well as other counselors who are familiar with your case, then you should continue to abide by their advice until a court of proper jurisdiction in your case orders otherwise.
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