Legal Question in Family Law in Virginia

When I meet my husband his girlfriend had sole custody of their 2 year old daughter, he did not know how to obtain custody, I research and we filed papers and he got joint custody, We got married a year later and one day received a call from his girlfriend telling us if we wanted her (his daughter) to come get her and all of her stuff. Well did not need to tell us twice we were there within an hour with a u-haul. While we were there I asked for her birth certificate so I could enroll her in an early education program - she surrended her birth certificate. We took my step daughter all of her belongings and birth certificate and moved her into her room in our home, we filed for sole custoday and won. I have been raising her now for 8 years. Her mother seems to have lost all interest and has not had any contact whatsoever with her for over 6 months. I am concerned that if something should happen to my husband I have no legal rights to her. I have told her mother numerous times that I wanted to adopt her so if something happened she could continue to live with me and her mother could retain her right to visitation, being a typical woman she threw a fit everytime and said she would ever allow me to adopt her.

Do I need her permission to adopt her? I have raised her for 8 years - she is now 11 and she has stated that if something happened to her father that she wants to continue to live with me. Her mother is no better today than she was when she lost custody - no job, no residence - moves from man to man is 2 years behind on child support and now does not even make the effort to exercise her right to visitation - can I adopt her based on abandoment? Do I need her natural mothers consent to adopt her?

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