Legal Question in Family Law in Virginia
This question is for my boyfriend he has a daughter she stays with her mother who does not work lives for free does not drive and she gets child support from him there is no legal arrangement she will only allow him to see his daughter but, once a month. Only to force another child on him that is not his she does not know who the father that child is and he takes her because she threatens to take away his daughter if he does not take the other one as well and he doesn't want to because it takes away time from his time with his own child and this other child calls him daddy. And me and him have been together a year as well and I have not yet been able to meet his daughter because the child's mother told him specifically "I don't want that bitch around my daughter" which we have never met or spoken a day in our lives which really ticks me off because even though I haven't physically met her I have provided tons for her through him to help him out because with child support for no reason just out of her being mean he never know when his next meal will be. Please if you have any advice for us for the future if this goes to a custody thing anything that would be helpful or anything that would be helpful now would be greatly appreciated I am sick of seeing this man being walked all over it's very stressful.
1 Answer from Attorneys
"I don't want that bitch around my daughter."
Hmm. First, do not be afraid of punctuation. The comma and the period are your friend. As you speak to different lawyers or counselors, it is important that they can understand what you are writing -- and this was quite difficult. Every third sentence start a new paragraph. Just a suggestion.
As to the matter at hand, it sounds like you are frustrated, but your boyfriend is not. Ma'am -- you cannot prosecute this on behalf of your boyfriend. He has to care. You already know the correct answer to your question. Your boyfriend needs to take the baby-momma to court. He is allowing her to control the situation. A better question for you: why does my boyfriend of over one year allow this other woman to control him? You need a solid answer to that.
Remember this -- in all but exceptionally rare situations, there is ALWAYS a motive. Why does your boyfriend "never know when his next meal will be?" He is okay with that. Hmmm.
Tell your boyfriend to grow a pair and take this matter to court. Have the judge conduct a paternity test on BOTH children and sent the matter for a custody hearing. Every year he continues to take care of the other child, is another year the court is likely to find he was the putative father (that means the daddy by default). Continue it long enough and the child will be his regardless of who the father was.
This is serious. Wake up and take control of this. Whining will not help. Complaining baby-momma is "mean" will not help. Complaining that your boyfriend is weak will not help. I think you see the pattern here. Get it together and start doing something.
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