Legal Question in Family Law in Virginia
What are the reqired topics of conversations when joint custody is in place
I need clairification of the topics of conversations necessary to discuss with my child's father in a joint physical and legal custody situation. My understanding is that I only have to discuss the following: health, school and religion issues. My ex-husband feels it is his right to know who my boyfriends are by name and specific details about them, who my friends are and specific details about them,and who we are with and what we are doing whenever my son is with me especially if he has not been available when my ex-husband has called him. He feels this is his right. I do not believe it is. What am I legally bound to tell him? Am I not entitled to a life of my own? Is there a time frame in which I am required by law to call him back in if it is not an emergency to still be communicating effectively? I feel that I return his call the next morning at the start of a business day at 9AM it is appropriate, am I right? I did inform my son of the message right after I picked it up.
How would you advise me to handle the questions that are not appropriate to answer.
3 Answers from Attorneys
Re: What are the reqired topics of conversations when joint custody is in place
If your and your son's father are currently bound by a custody order of the court, you are only required to abide by the terms of the order and the reasonable interpretations thereof.
If you are in the process of negotiating a custody aggreement to be entered with the court,
you are certainly not required to agree to the kinds of things which you former husband is requesting, and you may need the assistance of an attorney to ensure that you are not unfairly snared in a one-sided agreement.
Re: What are the reqired topics of conversations when joint custody is in place
I think I would tell him to GET A LIFE.
Or tell him to go out and get a lawyer who is ten times better than anverage.
Re: What are the reqired topics of conversations when joint custody is in place
The information you are required to share with your ex-husband should be specified in your custody agreement. However, there are some additional terms that might not be specifically called out in that agreement, and those are terms which a judge may find to be REASONABLE.
The definition of what information is "reasonable" is really up to the judge, but you should be able to make some common sense decisions about this. Your ex does not have the right to pry into your private life, but he DOES have the right (indeed, the responsibility) to assure himself that your child is safe and well cared-for.
So what does that mean? Well, it DOES NOT mean that you must reveal personal and private information with him. It does probably mean that if he has specific concerns about the child's safety or welfare, that you would be well advised to address those specific concerns. You certainly DO NOT have the responsibility to provide your ex with the identities of your friends and associates.
Finally, a similar answer applies to your question about time-frames. The answer is that you should return a call in a REASONABLE time frame. The next day is certainly reasonable for most communications. Emergencies or unusual situations apply which may shorten or lengthen the definition of a reasonable time frame.
If you continue to be harassed by your ex, you may wish to consider consulting with an attorney trained in Family Law. Good Luck!
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