Legal Question in Family Law in Virginia

visitation stipulation
Here's my problem...i have sole custody our 6yr old. My ex has resonable/liberal visitation every other weekend. He's engaged to be married. The relationship between my ex and I is stressed right now, b/c I am very upset that his girlfriend is telling our son that she's his mother. This is confusing our son and is disrespectful to me. Our son has asked me questions like...''Did she carry me in her stomach too?'' ''Do my friends have two mommy's?'' ''Does she have the same scar on her stomach like you mommy?'' I brought the issue up to my ex and he didn't care about it - he blew me off. During our separation they told our son to call this woman ''aunt'', b/c the divorce was not final yet, and now she, or they both want him to call her mommy. Both are lies, and it's causing confusion with our son. Let me be clear, I'm not upset that my ex is with another woman - we've both moved on. I'm upset that my son is being manipulated, lied to, and confused. Can I ask that the visitation order be modified to stipulate that he not have our son around this woman? I've asked them both for a sit down discussion on the issue, but they both declined. It is very stressful,I'm tired of arguing. I just want to do what's best for our son. pls advise

Asked on 6/05/04, 6:02 pm

1 Answer from Attorneys

Tommy Smith Law Offices of Tom C. Smith

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Re: visitation stipulation

You could file and ask that your visitation order be modified so that neither of you are permitted to have members of the opposite sex as overnight visitors. This cuts both ways.

If the engagement is real, and marriage is around the corner, the relationship is one that will have to be dealt with. Counseling can solve this problem. You should file to have your visitation modified and as a condition of further visitation, that all parties attend counseling to learn how best to deal with the situation for the sake of the child.

No JDRDC Judge or Guardian Ad Litem would tolerate your ex-husband's insensitivity toward the needs of the child.

www.tomcsmith.com

Answered on 6/05/04, 8:53 pm

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