Legal Question in Sexual Harassment in Virginia

This is tricky. I met a guy who is handicapped in a wheelchair, online on a dating site. We talked for a couple of months, and finally decided to meet in person. He seemed like a nice person, so we decided to have a second date. I had to meet him at his house, because he had no one to drive his van. He was a bit frisky, but I was able to keep him at bay. After that, he kept sending me provocative messages. He would get mad and say rude things, if I didn't answer right away. He finally apologized for talking like that, stating that his divorce wasn't final, ( which I thought was). Anyway, I had a financial problem, which he agreeed to loan me money to take care of. It was over 1000. I wrote a paper and signed it, stating the repayment plan. Then, he acted frisky, wanting me to do something I didn't want to do, so I pushed him away. Then I didn't go to visit for a long time, but commmunicated thru text and phone. Two weeks before I was to start making payments to him, I had a loss of income of 1300 per month.

So I couldn't start paying him, and also had a problem keeping up with my bills. I told him I would re-write the paper that I had given him, giving him a plan I could keep up with. He wouldn't have any of It. I kept explaining I would pay him. Then he started acting like he wanted to get friendly again. I was being cordial, but kept him at a distance. My phone broke, and he started calling me at my work,( I never gave him my work numbers). Then he posted on my Facebook, " had anyone seen me, because he hadn't heard from me in a while". I blocked him and unfriended him. Then he started acting like he was sorry, and offered me his old cell phone to use till I got my phone fixed. He never said anything about the loan. We had already talked previously,and he told me to pay when I could. I told him I would only use the phone to call him. Then, he asked me to give him my address. I never give out my address since my divorce and some long story details.

Anyway, I took the phone home, and turned it off,because I didn't want to talk whenever he wanted. Then he got mad, because I didn't call him, or talk about paying the loan when I was at his house. I said ok, I'll give the phone back, and he said and you can pay the loan back ,or I'll take you to court. He has been going to meet with lawyers to finalize his divorce, so I don't know if his wife is giving him issues about their divorce decree.

Anyway, what should I do? I told him I'd start paying him when I got my refund back.


Asked on 3/04/14, 12:19 pm

1 Answer from Attorneys
Sean Hanover Hanover Law

The wheelchair and the promissory note

My suggestions:

First, mail the phone back to his house by certified tracking. You're in trouble with that. He could easily claim you stole it, and that would be a mess to unravel. Do this immediately. You are vulnerable here.

Secondly, stop playing games. If you signed a promissory note (that's a document that says you'll do something in return for somebody doing something for you), then you need to "woman" up and meet your obligations. He could absolutely take you to small claims court. Why get a judgment against you? Seems silly. Start sending him payments -- even if it is $50 per month. Show that you are serious about paying back your debt. If you have time an money to be on online dating sites, you can find $50 a month to send to him. If you pay some amount on a regular basis, you at least have an argument that you're trying.

Third, you need to send him a cease and desist letter. That's a fancy term for a document that tells him to stop contacting you. Your best position for this is after you have returned the phone and AFTER you start making regular payments. While you don't have to put up with harassment at any time, you legal position is strengthened when you don't his stuff and are trying to meet your obligations.

If you have additional questions, give us a ring! You can reach us via email at [email protected] or 703-402-2723.

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Answered on 3/05/14, 6:11 am


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