Legal Question in Wills and Trusts in Virginia

Being the executor ("executive" makes sense, but it's not right) entails (1) appearing in the Virginia probate office in the county where he resided and qualifying to be the executor, based on your nomination (with your cousin (?) as executor of the will. As part of that process you will need to have a Virginia person appointed to receive notices, etc. since you are not a resident of Virginia; I would recommend choosing an attorney in the jurisdiction where you qualify to serve in that role and advise you. Once you are appointed you will need to open an estate bank account, collect all the information about assets, liabilities, etc. and begin to collect the assets and either sell them to produce cash for the account or pass them along to the persons designated in the will to receive them. The will is your blueprint for distribution of his estate.

If you and your cousin were named executors, it is unwise and against your uncle's wishes for you to waive your rights. It would be equally wrong not to probate the will; it was his desire to have a will and his right to name who would administer the will.

His wife, children and granchild will receive what his will says they receive (although if the wife's share under the will is less that about 1/3, she can go to court to receive that much.

The life insurance will go to whomever was designated by your uncle as beneficiary. If he designated his estate to receive the life insurance proceeds, the will will determine who gets the money. If he designated an individual or individals, or a trust, that's who gets the proceeds, and they do not go through the hands of the executor. ALL THE INSURANCE COMPANY NEEDS TO PAY THE PROCEEDS IS PROOF OF DEATH, USUALLY IN THE FORM OF A DEATH CERTIFICATE. I am strongly suspicious of the wife and children making demands on you to waive.