Mother-in-law has the start of Alzheimers
My Mother-in-law has the start of Alzheimers and my father-in-law just passed away. The children have found an assisted senior home for her but she has refused to sign herself in. (Her doctor has recommended that she goes). The assisted care will not let her in if she does not sign herself in. She cannot stay alone because she has started fires. She has blown up the microwave and has incontinence very bad that she and refuses to wear pads and urinates on the floor and furniture. We are thinking we have to do something but what? All the children work and she lives in the country and does not have care close by. Only two children live close but they also work.
2 Answers from Attorneys
Re: Mother-in-law has the start of Alzheimers
Suggest that you and the family DISCUSS with your mother your concerns for her health, care and safety. ASK for HER help, in obtaining for her, the care and attention that she obviously needs.
Appeal to her reasonablesoness. Especially do not assume that her obstinance is due to her being unaware of her state of affairs; or is a result of a lack of her mental acumen.
Suggest that she consider a home "helper" and someone to keep her company, for starters. Start with ten hours/week, with gradual increase in hours, as may be necessary, might help your mother to accustom herself to strangers being involved in her life, in way that she probably thinks is impertinent.
Arrangements for payment might be obtainable via a Reverse Mortgage, and other relatives' committing to making regular small monthly contributions. (Note, payment for nursing home care would also utilize all of ther assets; & with the family having no "say so" about anything, once your mother is placed).
Persistence, respect for your mother's concerns and person; and the gradual, introduction of change, sounds more appropriate than seeking legal action at this point, for the purpose of "placing" your mother in an institution, when she retains the cognizance, to know that is NOT what she wants to do. (Also, her childlike, acting out behaviour may also improve with regular attention, help and "re training." Placement should be considered only as a last or only resort.
Good luck,
Phroska L. McAlister,ESQ
Phroska L. McAlister,ESQ
Re: Mother-in-law has the start of Alzheimers
Hello,
If you cannot get a doctor to get her admitted (that would be your first choice, so keep trying), then one of you could petition to the court to be a legal guardian and then the guardian could take of her living situation and her finances.
Sometimes you can get the county to pay for a guardianship if you get social workers involved, other times not. You could contact a social services agency and find out. If they won't, then you will have to foot the bill. If your mother in law has some assets, it is possible that some of that could be used to remimburse you for the costs of the guardianship.
Best Wishes, Mark J. Mahoney, 920-984-4529
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