Legal Question in Juvenile Dependency in Wyoming

Re: teen dating

I wrote this to someone else, but this question keeps coming up, so I'll re-post it here in it's entirety:

Starting point is that if no sexual contact is going on, then the law has nothing to say about it.

Having been 14, 16 AND 19, I find it hard to understand why anyone would want to "date" someone so much younger. On the other hand, for the typical 14/16 year old, it is extremely cool to have an "adult" validate your existence and make you feel special. Such a rush outweighs ANY notion of what adults call "common sense."

I adore teens as a rule (they're so alive, smart and funny), but I also don't expect them to have a lick of common sense. How can they? They're only just starting to stretch themselves!!

As an adult young enough to remember and old enough to care, I empathize, not just sympathize. Still, I firmly believe that there's nothing a 19-year wants from a 14/16 year old that s/he wouldn't be better off getting from someone his/her own age. Gender is not the issue.

Any 19-year old still living in a 14/16-year old world is not a good romantic role model for the 14/16-year old. And, there isn't a 14/16-year old on this PLANET mature enough, in my adult mind, to really offer an equivalent benefit to a 19-year old. Usually, it's about insecurity and power.

"Romance" is great, but humans are hard-wired for sex, especially at those ages, and so I just don't buy that it's a truly equal give-take relationship at that age spread. If romance isn't the issue, then, again, the law has nothing to say about it, but by asking the question, it's clear to me that it IS about sex. Otherwise, it would be like asking what happens on the moon.

The rules are designed to protect kids, not penalize young adults, so states with range rules don't come down too hard if, say, there is a 4-year difference after a certain age. The differences between 17 and 21 are almost insignificant compared to the differences between 12 and 16, for example.

On the other hand, as an adult I know that there is also a big difference between what a 21-year old has to offer and what a 17 year old has to offer. In the college crowd, it's 4 years of higher education, which generally means higher standard of living. In the military crowd, it means a tremendous amount of growing up crammed into a "mere" 4 years. For a criminal, it's 4 years of hell and missed opportunities without a chance for a do-over.

The best people to ask are your parents. Their values now are likely to become your values later (assuming they're good people), and they've been putting those values into you a long time, so trust them (again, if they're good people) to guide you!