Legal Question in Civil Rights Law in California

What started out as a petty disagreement between ex-lovers is now escalated into accusations of harassment/stalking to outside parties. Specifically, a lover broke up with me six weeks ago. I have had difficulty getting over it and, admittedly, continued to call and text him until he asked me to stop. The issue is we are both active members of the online social community of "Meetup." While I belonged to several groups prior to the break-up, since then I have joined several others - some of which overlap groups to which my ex belongs. (We have many common interests). This has been a point of contention until a conversation was had that we would just live with it and try to be respectful of the other should we find ourselves at the same event. This has occurred once and no interaction was had. With that said, I recently joined a group and my ex had me kicked out of the group, within an hour of my joining, reporting me as either harassing him or stalking him.

So, my questions are 1) do my actions fall within the definition of harassment/stalking? 2) Is his reporting me to a third party as doing such this legal, if I do not fall under the legal definition? 3) Do I have any recourse?

I know this seems a trivial just-leave-it-alone situation, but I can't have this person making these serious allegations against me in a social forum. Unfortunately, my pattern of behavior before this event, i.e., phone/text messages, works against me.


Asked on 12/15/10, 3:23 pm

2 Answers from Attorneys
Terry A. Nelson Nelson & Lawless

Anything your ex says makes them feel 'harassed' IS harassment for your purpose. They could seek a Restraining Order against you and likely get it. They 'can' say and do anything they like, but provable slander against you would be actionable by you. Their defense is that what they said is the truth. The best advice I would give you is to stop kicking sleeping dogs; let this die a quiet death, and move on.

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Answered on 12/20/10, 4:21 pm
Michael Stone Law Offices of Michael B. Stone Toll Free 1-855-USE-MIKE

The behavior you admitted falls within the legal definition of stalking, and it's not unreasonable given the circumstances for him to think you're again stalking him when you show up at a Meetup group even if you didn't intend to meet him there (maybe you did, a little bit). Stalking people is a good way to get arrested and/or sued. Maybe you could give Meetup a rest and take up some other social activity for a while. How about a support group. Search for [stalkers anonymous]

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Answered on 12/20/10, 5:47 pm


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