Legal Question in Criminal Law in California

My husband was charged with domestic violence last Thursday night. Codes 245 (A)(!), 273.5 & 422.

I realize it seems as if all women want to drop the charges once the next day comes. For me, I need to find out what to do to help him. We have issues obviously, but my husband is not a wife beater. We have been dealing with serious issues within our relationship, going to counseling, etc. Things got out of control. It has happened twice so the second time I called the police. The problem is that both times it has also been me involved. He doesn't just come after me. He is actually trying to defend himself from me. I did tell the police the first incident occured and I had slapped him in the face and picked on him before he went after me. The second occurence when I did involve the police, I didn't say too much. I just needed to be safe. I was afraid to go home because I was afraid I had pushed my husband too far and he would snap. That wouldn't have happened. I could have stayed somewhere else for the night. My husband needs help. Not jail time. Maybe a little jail time would do him good, but not he jail time that come come with these charges. I filed a restraining order yesterday because the sheriff told me I had to. I really didn't have to as he is not going to hurt me. The order was sent to the judge yesterday and they told me to call back on Monday after 1pm for an answer. We both were seeking help in the anger issues department and going rather well until we had a hiccup. My question is this. How do I work towards talking to the DA and getting his charges reduced and getting him the help he really needs? I am not forcing help down my husbands throat. He wants help. We just took a really bad turn. Is there a low cost criminal lawyer in my area that could help me? Thank you!

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