Legal Question in Elder Law in California

My brother's keeper
In'99 my father died,my mother needs full time care(Parkinson's).My half-brother moves in to my mother's house without her asking him to do so.In 2000 he was put into rehab for drug/alcohol abuse. A week ago, a neighbor contacted us to say there is a problem and we suspect him of abuse & neglect of our mother.I have POA(financial and medical)& my name is on the deed to the house with my mother. He has lived there almost 5 years, with no legal paperwork or agreement between he and my mother. My mother suspects him of stealing her money and she is terrified of him. He is verbally abusive, has isolated her & tells her that no one else loves her or cares for her except him.I have reported to APS. Now I am completely lost in knowing how to remove him legally and safely from the home. He is unpredicatble with a bad temper. I have tried to make contact since March, and have only gotten through to my mother last week. He has not called me, but has contacted the notary of their community who worked for us to make my mother's will, he wanted to know what the will contained and wanted a copy. He is unemployed and doesn't have a place to go. We suspect that he has a girlfriend in the same location that he used to by drugs from.

Help!

Asked on 7/13/04, 6:15 pm

2 Answers from Attorneys

Mona Montgomery Mona Montgomery, Attorney at law

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Re: My brother's keeper

Your Mother's Safety and Care. Is your brother living with her now? If so, you may decide to let him continue to care for her. If not, you can easily get a TRO (Temporary Restraining Order) against him which will prevent him from coming back to the house. You can get help from your local court to get this order for free. Once you get this TRO you won't have to evict him as he will be prevented by court order from coming within 500 feet of your Mother's house.

If he is still in the house think very carefully. You can get a conservatorship over your mother and have her taken to an Alzheimer's home but this is the most expensive care which will deplete the estate by $5,000 per month. Wouldn't you rather let him take care of her?

Think about making friends with the situation. The last thing you want is to end up diapering an Alzheimer's patient, believe me. If he is as dumb as you say, he will be easy to manipulate. Be super sweet and say how glad you are that he is taking care of her -- and it is true! Offer to come in once a week to relieve him and if he says no, GREAT! You are off the hook! Better him than you!!!

You are apparently the only sane person in your family. Time for you to grow up fast. Treat these people like the nuts that they are, with caution and diplomacy. It will pay off in the end.

Pleaes feel free to call if you want to talk this matter over. I am always happy to discuss these situations.

Answered on 7/18/04, 12:27 am

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