Legal Question in Family Law in California

Soon to be ex and I are in a contested custody case. We have not gone to mediation yet, no date has been set either....even though we filed Oct 2019, but Covid hit and everything has been pushed back because she took so long to file her initial financial paperwork, not until June 2020. Soon to be ex, takes the kids out of the family home and stays overnight at her boyfriends, which I have never given consent to. Their affair broke up our family in Oct 2019, as well as his family, in which he has 2 kids roughly the same age as our 2 kids. No court orders in place. We both still share evenly, legal and physical custody. Side note: they were family friends for a number of years, so she's all of sudden trying to keep them overnight when he has his kids...so they're actually using the kids for their own personal reasons, in my opinion. She actually kind of lives with her boyfriend, since she sleeps there every night, but comes to see the kids for a few hours during the day when she gets off of work, and before I get home from work. Question is: Does she have the legal right to take the kids out of the family home when I have them in my custody at the family home, where they have slept every night for years, and take and keep the kids away from me for a night or two without my consent, and told her she doesn't have my consent, at her boyfriends? I can't afford an attorney so I'm trying to get as much research as possible around all aspects of the custody battle.


Asked on 9/28/20, 10:37 am

1 Answer from Attorneys
Delilah Knox Rios Delilah Knox Rios, Attorney At Law, APLC

Unclear as to which State you are residing in and where your case is to be heard. The best solution would be a mediated solution. If you have not been to Court mediation then you can select a private mediator or reach an agreement between the two of you. Joint legal custody means that the two of you must meet and confer, that is, discuss these matters and resolve them if possible. Usually when one party is the "out spouse" the parents should discuss a separate time for out spouse to have the kids with him/her, such as alternating week-ends, or every Saturday night or something like that so that there is no friction when the children go to visit overnight or dinner visits or weekends. Consider that nothing is going to be the same once there is a break up and other significant other exists and when other minor children or family members will be involved. You two might select a Marriage and Family Therapist to help you both understand the impact of new relationships and new living condition which are always in flux until age of majority. Also I recommend www.onlineparentingprograms.com for co-parenting classes which both of you can take and get the same information. Also I recommend www.ourfamilywizard.com so that you two can communicate better and keep each other informed about the children.

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Answered on 9/29/20, 9:02 am


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