Legal Question in Family Law in California

custody and an almost 16 year old child

My former spouse and I both live in CA and share legal joint custody of a daughter who is now 15 1/2.

Unfortunately, my former spouse, who continues to have extremely negative personal feelings towards me, has having a negative influence on our mother-daughter relationship.

I read an article that discussed parental alienation and hostile agressive parents and feel that many of the symptoms apply.

My daughter seems to be channeling his feelings to the point where she no longer wants to spend time with me. He will not talk with me about it and tells her she is old enough to decide who she wants to live with (despite our court orders). His new fiancee and her family do not know me but support the negative feelings, adding to what I feel has become a toxic environment relative to my daughter's and my relationship.

I know that the court gives more weight to a child's ''wishes'' when they get older and that it might be difficult to prove a hostile parenting situation. Still, I cannot bear to remain in a ''wait and see'' stance. the situation is certainly not in my daughter's best longterm interests and also quite painful to me. Any thoughts or advice would be much appreciated. Thank you!


Asked on 4/09/07, 8:00 pm

1 Answer from Attorneys

PATRICK MCCRARY PATRICK MCCRARY

Re: custody and an almost 16 year old child

The court will consider the wishes of a child and the older the child the more weight the court will give to the child's wishes. However, manipulation by one parent would counter balance the child's wishes, to a point. I would suggest that you and the child go into counseling together so that she will have insight into your love an concern for her and into her father's behavior. If father won't agree, file a motion and ask the court to order the counseling. Good Luck, Pat McCrary

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Answered on 4/10/07, 11:15 am


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