Legal Question in Family Law in New Jersey
children with married man
I have been in a relationship with a married man for 7 years. We have 2 children (6 and 3 yrs) and have been living together for the past year in a house he bought. Wife has been aware of the situation and their 3 children (10,9,7) come for visits and overnights. I have no legal documents outlining custody, visitation etc. and am concerned for my children. I am thinking about ending the relationship and he will not allow me to take the children because ''they have been living under his roof''. Can he force me to move out and leave the kids? I would not want to disrupt their lives but I have been their primary caregiver (even though I work fulltime)and he's still bouncing back and forth between the two houses. His work schedule would not be condusive to a ''regular'' schedule and I know he would have to hire someone to watch/help out with the kids if we did a 50/50 split. He pays the house bills and I cover the kids (doctor,health insur.,activities,clothing,food). Not looking for support..just a resolution so I can move on. Even thought about keeping the kids there and getting a condo where we would switch on and off but he's not around so I think it would be a waste of money since I would end up being at the house anyway.
2 Answers from Attorneys
Re: children with married man
You have a complex, nasty and difficult situation. I would not even attempt to give any general advice over this bulletin board.
Please, please contact an experienced divorce attorney (I know you are not married, but that is the area of law which applies). Hire the attorney. Get some solid advice and take legal action. You have two children whose entire lives will be much better or much worse if you do or do not take action wisely. Please do not ignore this advice: you desperately need an attorney. Beg, borrow or charge on a credit card, but please go see a divorce attorney immediately.
Re: children with married man
If you decide to separate from your significant other you should take a few steps before you do that. The first is to file a custody complaint.
The Court likes for children to experience their parents equally, if that is practical. One day the notice for court will come in the mail while you are still living with the father of your children. At that point you should be prepared to live somewhere else with room for your children.
When a custody complaint is filed it is usually scheduled for a date some six weeks later and there will be an interim period when you are still living with your children's father and you both know about the hearing date.
If the father has a work schedule which makes 50/50 custody of the children you will more or less automatically have the children more than the father.
Since you have always been the primary care giver the Court is more likely to continue that situation. You will probably receive child support instead of paying it. You should collect evidence of what the father earns because child support is based upon average, weekly net income. Pay stubs, bonus statements and tax returns are a good source of proof of income. If the father earns income off the books you can prove unearned income with proof of average monthly expenses, including vacations; dining out and movies.
You don't have to argue with the father about custody and child support because the Court will decide this issue, but you can indicate that you are willing to be reasonable. You should consult with an attorney and obtain legal counsel and services.
Gary Moore, Esquire
Hackensack, New Jersey
www.garymooreattorneyatlaw.com
Related Questions & Answers
Looking for something else?
10,200 active attorneys ready to answer your legal questions today.
Featured Attorneys
Earn additional revenue and grow your business.
