Legal Question in Family Law in New Jersey

My son and his wife are having marital problems.She does not intend to work & will not work at any old job as she feels her summa cum laude degree from Columbia University entitles her to a high paying job. My son is struggling to maintain the home which is in his name only, working a second job so that he can provide health insurance, auto insurance, home insurance, dental insurance for himself and his wife and his little 2 year old child. He does all the grocery shopping, cooks his own meals most of the time and takes care of the baby which is part of a parents job when you have children.However, all this has taken a toll on my son therefore, he & his wife agreed that perhaps he should move out for an indefinite length of time, still being able to be with his little girl to spend the quality time he so enjoys with her. He moved back home with us.

My son told me he did a foolish thing . He set up his profile on Match.com

When asked why he cdid that, his reply was ' to try to see how many other people are going through the same type of problems he is having'.

To make matters worse, he confessed to me that all that happened was a few exchanges of emails. I asked him if there was anything else he was not telling me.

He replied that he did meet someone for a drink but it did not go any further.

His wife found out by checking his cell phone on-line account by going over each phone number listed. She found out about the Match.com from a female friend who has her own profile on that site & came across my sons'.

I look at this situation as not getting better. I fear for my son that should this proceed to a divorce , the very strong possibility exists for him to have visitation rights taken away from him for doing these irresponsible actions coming from a very responsible young man ( he's 35years old, his wife is or will be 37 yrs old ).

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The law in NJ and in most states tends to side with the mother no matter how bad a mother she may be. My fear for our son is that since his little girl is his world, if she should be no longer a part of his world, he might not be able to go on without her. I do not mean he would do anything to his wife. I am speaking that he could do something to himself.

Question:Does what my son did ( going on Match.com and further meeting someone ) make for a case of "cheating on your spouse"? Or does the law see for all intensive purposes that the "intent" was there, but no action was taken. ?

If the answer is "yes" to the first part of my question, then I must state that I have hard evidence of his wife's "intent" to do the same. I have print outs of her twitter account & her blogging accounts which I have shown to my son where she has come right out "twittering" to an old male friend from her sordid past that she would like to meet up with him in NYC & maybe even "pimp" for him.

I await a reply

Frances Schneider

2 Answers from Attorneys

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