Legal Question in Family Law in New York

Re: Changing minors last name illegally

You can probably have the Court enforce your use of your surname, by school personnel, health care organizations and other similiar kinds of agencies. You also can and SHOULD ask the Court to mandate resumption of counseling with you and your daughter, if your daughter and the mother refuse.

However, you should consider your child's interests and concerns more than your own ego.

Know that No One can control a teenager's "USE" name. Also, understand that it's important for youngsters to "fit in and belong;" and for them to maintain a certain kind of public image, for their own well being.

Give her a break, she's at new school, starting a "new" life. Your showing patience and understanding will probably take you further than any Court order.

Keep in mind that, generally when a child's name is different from the custodial parent's, the world immediately knows and still stigmatizes the child as either a "bastard," or "illegitimate" and possibly unwanted; Or that the child is a "victim" of divorce, living in a single parent household, with only one "real protector" parent.

Good luck,

Phroska L. McAlister,ESQ

Re: Changing minors last name illegally

If you have joint custody then the court's order should state your visitiation rights. If your ex-wife is in violation of the court order with respect to the visitation, name change in school or the therapy then you can apply to the court to enforce the terms of the Order.

While the Court can order your ex to allow you the visitation previoulsy provided, the question will be what your daughter wants and what is in her best interest.

I highly recommend that you contact an attorney to explore your legal rights, obligations, and alternatives. Feel free to call me if you would like to discuss retaining my services: 516- 256-7737

Disclaimer: The above comments are not intended as nor should they be relied upon as "legal advice", which can only be obtained by personal consultation with a retained attorney; at which time the specific facts and circumstances of your case can be thoroughly evaluated. This reply is provided for general informational and educational purposes only, and does not create an attorney-client relationship with the responding attorney.]