Legal Question in Immigration Law in Virginia

Yes, you've been illegal since the time your J-1 status and I-94 card had expired in 2008. Being married to a US citizen without applying and being approved for a Green card (perm residency) didn't make your stay in USA legal.

Since you are getting divorce and never applied for adjustment of status, unfortunately, you are not eligible for adjustment of status/Green Card.

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You've now apparently been in overstay status for more than 180 days and therefore have likely accrued a bar of three years if you now depart and then attempt to return. And, if you stay on until December 2009, the bar will likely increase to 10 years.