Legal Question in Family Law in Washington

Re: Child Custody

Great question. Unfortunately, until he is served, the Court has no jurisdiction to enter any orders. If you cannot get him personally served by a third party (your friend) then you need to file a motion to serve him by mail. To do so, you need to prepare an affidavit from your friend explaining what they have done in attempts to personally serve your ex and a second one from you indicating that based on what your friend has done to date, it is not likely that you will be able to serve him, and therefore you need to serve him by mail.

If the Court buys it, and it likely will, then you can serve him by mailing a certified copy and a second copy by regular mail, then you need to file proof of service with the Court.

If after all that he still does not show and you have your proof of mailing from the post office, then the Court has jurisdiction to issue orders without your ex present.

What I've written is a very brief synopsis of what's involved in getting this done. It will be hard for you to do this on your own without help. My advice is to try and find local counsel who will either aid you or represent you pro bono or based upon a sliding scale, otherwise, I see lots of wasted days with you going to court finding out the court cannot proceed because of some procedural defect in the way you've tried to get your ex served.

Re: Child Custody

The general standard for failure of attempts at personal service to get an order to serve by mail or publication is 3 attempts on three days at three different times of day. For example Friday at 7:00 p.m., Saturday at 10:00 a.m. and Monday at noon. Mail is definitely cheaper and more likely to get actual notice than service by publication. The person who attempted service should do an affidavit of attempted personal service and that would go in with your motion. You can then do service by mail. I generally attach the certified mail receipt (and if the receipt comes back signed the return receipt) to the return of service when I file it. You should serve him with the summons, petition, proposed parenting plan and your motion for temporary orders. If he is receiving service out of state he has 60 days to reply to the summons and petition, but no additional time to respond to the motion (but do be sure to add enough time to your date for the hearing that he will receive notice at least the number of days required under local rules before the hearing (the rules anticipate 3 days for first class mail). You may find this complicated, and you should give serious consideration to retaining counsel.